• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

awfullife

awfullife

Arcanist
Nov 16, 2019
435
I'm living in a semi truck 5 days a week throwing chains in the freezing cold and weather but cant afford to live near my kids.

I've lost 25k gambling in stock market last two years...could used it to be with them.

I'm so depressed and poor not sure it would even work out to be there dad every other weekend. Right now I see them once a month.

5 years ago I was making 30k a month and had the world by the balls. Now I live with my dad, career is in the shitter, and I'm a shit parent.

Fucking lost my mind to qanon.

Son is special needs and daughter is depressed. Probly wont ever have a Christmas with them again.

Then I talk to them today over phone and they sounded really happy. Fucking making me guilty for wanting to CTB. What a nightmare. I'm an impulsive mother fucker. May have to gun-mouth quick at the reservoir.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
  • Love
Reactions: St. Jimmy, Silvermorning, dropdeadfred and 6 others
depressedsally

depressedsally

Dead
Nov 6, 2020
234
I'm living in a semi truck 5 days a week throwing chains in the freezing cold and weather but cant afford to live near my kids.

I've lost 25k gambling in stock market last two years...could used it to be with them.

I'm so depressed and poor not sure it would even work out to be there dad every other weekend. Right now I see them once a month.

5 years ago I was making 30k a month and had the world by the balls. Now I live with my dad, career is in the shitter, and I'm a shit parent.

Fucking lost my mind to qanon.

Son is special needs and daughter is depressed. Probly wont ever have a Christmas with them again.

Then I talk to them today over phone and they sounded really happy. Fucking making me guilty for wanting to CTB. What a nightmare. I'm an impulsive mother fucker. May have to gun-mouth quick at the reservoir.
Hope your ok
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Huntfish34 and Jumper Geo
Jumper Geo

Jumper Geo

Life's a bitch and then you die.
Feb 23, 2020
2,910
I'm living in a semi truck 5 days a week throwing chains in the freezing cold and weather but cant afford to live near my kids.

I've lost 25k gambling in stock market last two years...could used it to be with them.

I'm so depressed and poor not sure it would even work out to be there dad every other weekend. Right now I see them once a month.

5 years ago I was making 30k a month and had the world by the balls. Now I live with my dad, career is in the shitter, and I'm a shit parent.

Fucking lost my mind to qanon.

Son is special needs and daughter is depressed. Probly wont ever have a Christmas with them again.

Then I talk to them today over phone and they sounded really happy. Fucking making me guilty for wanting to CTB. What a nightmare. I'm an impulsive mother fucker. May have to gun-mouth quick at the reservoir.

Sorry thats a big come down earning 30k a month and then living with your dad it's hard not to think about CTB but money isn't everything there are a lot of million and billionaires who CTB, money couldn't solve there problems it's hard going back to basics but I would think about getting through this Christmas and try your hardest to vist your family. Everything is fucked with Covid but see if there is any free training being offered in the New Year and I hope you find a way to be at peace with yourself, hopefully by earning 30K again.

Cheers

Geo
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Silvermorning, SmellyRat and Huntfish34

Similar threads

Dukey
Replies
5
Views
208
Suicide Discussion
breathingblues
breathingblues
snowsilence
Replies
1
Views
137
Suicide Discussion
Pati
Pati
starboy2k
Replies
6
Views
413
Suicide Discussion
yourmmomisabbitch
Y
woofwag
Replies
17
Views
927
Suicide Discussion
woofwag
woofwag