Venting New here

[Arctic-hare]

Hello. After much mental debate I decided to make my first post.

I am Arctic-Hare. I have had SI for a long time, most of my life and have 2 attempts under my belt plus some attempts of trying to strangle myself as a child. I recently lost my benefits and while there are people trying to keep me alive I just feel like ctb and be done with this life. I feel like I have tried for so long already (I am 31) and just want to sleep.

I have no interest in my social life, don't have people to talk to about this who understand what it feels like to want to die. I wish I could start over, do things differently. I spent my early life trying to suppress being trans and it just blew up when I accepted who I was and it sent me into a spiral and now I am happy with myself but just as I am supposed to be having my life start I feel as if it is pointless now. Why bother trying to salvage what is left?

This site is my last hope, I initially found it from an article while trying to find info on how to ctb. After reading a lot of things, I am now deterred from trying to use non methods that I would have tried before. I just wish I understood how this site worked, I understand why things are not so easy to navigate.

 

[Abyss Dweller]

Hey,
I'm just 2 years older and I know it feels like we've been on this planet for a long time but truth be told we are still young, we still have a lot ahead of us.
But even if we were 80 years old it's not a bad idea to live regardless of your age like you have 100 year left. :)