Venting Never good enough

[Deleted member 14573]

This year I've taken action to try and improve my life. I've been working almost all year, saving diligently. I've been working hard to improve at university. I started therapy and treatment for my mental health issues.

It takes a lot for me to keep myself in one piece everyday and exhausts all my energy to keep up with day to day activities, hobbies and exercise. I really try my hardest.

I'm not really social. I don't speak to people IRL expect for my therapist, family and work colleagues. I don't have friends that I go out with.

I understand that this is not ideal. But I'm so frustrated with my family asking why I'm such a loner, why don't I bring home a boyfriend, why can't I just make friends. It's just not that easy for me and it seems like all my other efforts are not acknowledged. It's just exhausting.

 

[Latios]

Yeah, I feel ya there op.... :(

I'm also never good enough lmao

 

[Apathy79]

Good to see you again Angel! Sounds like you are doing all the right things tbh. It's hard with family, but I'd try to ignore their expectations and just keep doing your best at your own pace.

Fwiw if you're anything like me, you might end up choosing to live on your own permanently! But regardless of what you choose, there's no rush and it needs to be your choice, not theirs.

 

[Tired_Tired]

When I were young. My friends asked why I don't have girlfriend. So embarrassed when my friends asked. Most of people expected men should have women. I think for women is O.K. without men. Alone may not bad, as long as you have meaningful life. If you don't have meaningful life. It's still O.K. At least you don't have toxic relationship. It's hard to find a life partner.

 

[IWantToSleep]

I want to put more of an effort into my life but there is a fear that it will amount to nothing and I'll feel the same.

 

[Daveyjones]

I've always felt this way even more so now than when I was younger.

I've been trying my hardest to turn my life around recently too. Find a new job. Find a new place to call home. Try and keep my significant other in my life.

It just seems like it's impossible. I know I focus too much on the worrying and what ifs but I feel they are always valid. All the meanwhile my relationship has basically been destroyed which has dragged me down further. We are technically still together but she hasn't considered us in a relationship for well over a year now but hasn't said it to me directly. I just keep closing my eyes hoping its all a dream and I died already.

Not being acknowledged is devastating but I hope you find your way forward, you seem to a general way forward you want for yourself. Just focus on your efforts and don't let other people destroy those efforts. You choose what you want, when you want not them.

 

[Neowise]

But I'm so frustrated with my family asking why I'm such a loner, why don't I bring home a boyfriend, why can't I just make friends.

Oh yeah I can totally relate to that. As if being in a relationship is the ultimate life goal and the only achievement you can possibly get? My brother and my mother even asked me if I am lesbian. Wtf? Why do you care about that but not about my efforts to please you? I follow all of your orders and don't even get a "thank you" in return, but you talk about why I haven't had a boyfriend yet at the age of 25? smh

Definetely a reason why I want to ctb. I am never good enough.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

Yep. I understand.