Method I want it to end

[kingfool316]

I have already planned my way to CTB. If I don't update in 4 days, it means I did it.

I'm going to do this very early at 5am. I have been "taking walks" outside. What my family doesn't know is that I'm looking for spots that are perfect for my plans, and I found it.

I'm gonna go out in four days at pretense of "exercise" with a back pack with my tools. I can't say what my method is but I hope it works

So now I'm just pretending everything is normal as to not alert anybody and have them stop me. I have tried to poison myself in the past and all it did was hospitalize me, but nobody knew it was intentional, which is good, I don't want pity. I am just enjoying playing games for what maybe the last times.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

 

[kingfool316]

Update:

Change of plans. I may have to do it next week, which has a bigger window of opportunity for me, and is far fitting personally. I'll update again for anything else might happen

 

[kingfool316]

Update: it failed, thats all i can say. Too pissed off to tell more. Maybe in a few days

 

[fleetingnight]

I'm sorry things didn't go as you planned </3

 

[kingfool316]

I may as well tell you all my failed plan. My plan was simple, i was gonna gas myself. I got some industrial cleaners that I found lying around while I was out "walking". Would you know it, I found an abandoned porta potty as well. So with my cleaner and some rags and tape i sealed all possible exits for the air. I dumped all the cleaner on the floor and just sat there. Took some sleeping pills to knock my ass off, listened to some music to say farewell to this hellhole, and was hoping it would end. Sadly I woke up with a headache unlike anyother, I was crying, and my lungs felt like shit. I couldn't stand it anymore and got out. Stupid SI

 

[NoRespawn]

I may as well tell you all my failed plan. My plan was simple, i was gonna gas myself. I got some industrial cleaners that I found lying around while I was out "walking". Would you know it, I found an abandoned porta potty as well. So with my cleaner and some rags and tape i sealed all possible exits for the air. I dumped all the cleaner on the floor and just sat there. Took some sleeping pills to knock my ass off, listened to some music to say farewell to this hellhole, and was hoping it would end. Sadly I woke up with a headache unlike anyother, I was crying, and my lungs felt like shit. I couldn't stand it anymore and got out. Stupid SI

has anything for you changed since this happened? feel any different? Did anyone even notice anything? are you going to try again? Sorry if im asking too many questions.

Spoiler: gif

 

[kingfool316]

has anything for you changed since this happened? feel any different? Did anyone even notice anything? are you going to try again? Sorry if im asking too many questions.

Spoiler: gif

I am. Tonight, i am going for a shoddy night night method. I hope i am weakened enough for it to work

 

[AbsentMindedHuman]

Im sorry your having to go through all of this. I really wish there was an easier way for people to exit that wished to. Its not fair. If hope you find the freedom you are looking for. You deserve better

 

[nir]

That first method sounds terrifying, trapped in a small box like that. I'm shocked you didn't get permanent brain damage. Part of the reason why I'm pro-MAID for mental health reasons is because people should have dignity when they die, if possible. I don't want someone to die in a porta potty, alone and suffering. I'd much rather they die on their own terms peacefully.

 

[kingfool316]

That first method sounds terrifying, trapped in a small box like that. I'm shocked you didn't get permanent brain damage. Part of the reason why I'm pro-MAID for mental health reasons is because people should have dignity when they die, if possible. I don't want someone to die in a porta potty, alone and suffering. I'd much rather they die on their own terms peacefully.

Who knows. Maybe i already have brain damage. And now to finish it off tonight
Who knows. Maybe i already have brain damage. And now to finish it off tonight

That first method sounds terrifying, trapped in a small box like that. I'm shocked you didn't get permanent brain damage. Part of the reason why I'm pro-MAID for mental health reasons is because people should have dignity when they die, if possible. I don't want someone to die in a porta potty, alone and suffering. I'd much rather they die on their own terms peacefully.

I have no future, i am in debt, i curse whoever made life, i never wished for existence, fuck this hellhole, i want permanent out. And tonight will be hopefully that night. One last game with my laptop. One last game... and then no more

That first method sounds terrifying, trapped in a small box like that. I'm shocked you didn't get permanent brain damage. Part of the reason why I'm pro-MAID for mental health reasons is because people should have dignity when they die, if possible. I don't want someone to die in a porta potty, alone and suffering. I'd much rather they die on their own terms peacefully.

I have no future, i am in debt, i curse whoever made life, i never wished for existence, fuck this hellhole, i want permanent out. And tonight will be hopefully that night. One last game with my laptop. One last game... and then no more
Trying to go and stay to another country was a mistake

 

[kingfool316]

If i do succeed tonight. I would like to thank this site and everybody here

 

[wren-briar]

May you find peace soon.

 

[kingfool316]

I failed again. I couldn't pass out from both methods. I tried multiple times with partial hanging and the night night method. Pls can someone give me help on how to do either methods properly
I cant properly find the arteries properly and wasnt able to pass out meaning that my body struggled and escaped from both. I have no rachet or tape to properly do the method the night night method. Please can some give me instructions

 

[kingfool316]

I will try again tonight and this time... i will use sleeping pills to make it faster

 

[becfr0g]

I will try again tonight and this time... i will use sleeping pills to make it faster

Good luck. I really hope you get to where you want to go.

 

[kingfool316]

Good luck. I really hope you get to where you want to go.

Moving to a developed country is like moving for a detention center to alcatraz