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TRIXI3

TRIXI3

may death be upon me
Jun 28, 2023
35
I'm going through so much, and I feel as if I need guidance. I'm so scared and hurt… I'm still not even sure how to feel, I'm just so depressed and don't feel like doing anything anymore. I feel so alone and it breaks my heart… I just don't want to go on with life any longer. My ex (which moved nearly 2,000 miles away) is out of reach and it just seems like he doesn't care about me anymore… he always acts like he cares and then goes away for weeks at a time until he texts me back. He was all I ever wanted and I feel like I'll never find anyone else. My friends and family seem to have abandoned me and don't spend time with me anymore. I just don't see a point. I'm so worn out working a dead end job and I stress constantly about paying my bills. The way I feel is so conflicting, there are so many thoughts of how I could either rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and do good for myself, but also so many of how I could end it all and give up on trying to survive in this sad, cold, lonely world.

I'm just so unhappy and I want this all to end.

I also feel as if there may be something to live for, then again I don't. Please somebody help me. I'm breaking into pieces.
 
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TRIXI3

TRIXI3

may death be upon me
Jun 28, 2023
35
Also, what are some common worries and general thoughts that anyone else comes across when feeling this way?
 
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Torabol

Torabol

Student
Apr 15, 2023
107
I identify with a lot of what you said, sounds like you're in limbo. Loneliness can be debilitating too. Is this a recent change in regards to your friends and family?

It's hard when one wants to rise above their challenges while they have no energy. feels like waiting at the train station for a train that never stops there.

I can tell you're suffering a lot right now, but there also seems to be a spark of hope in your writings. Hope things get easier for you soon.
 
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TRIXI3

TRIXI3

may death be upon me
Jun 28, 2023
35
I identify with a lot of what you said, sounds like you're in limbo. Loneliness can be debilitating too. Is this a recent change in regards to your friends and family?

It's hard when one wants to rise above their challenges while they have no energy. feels like waiting at the train station for a train that never stops there.

I can tell you're suffering a lot right now, but there also seems to be a spark of hope in your writings. Hope things get easier for you soon.
The relationship between me and my family have been deteriorating for awhile honestly. I'd say after my breakup is when it got significantly worse, and honestly it's probably because I distanced myself from people because it broke me so badly. I have several friends that have stuck by me and made sure I'm okay, but most others just make it seems as if they do not care what happens to me. But even before the breakup happened, I'd say that my connections family wise went down drastically due to them all mostly passing away unfortunately… it's depressing feeling this alone and not having the life you envisioned for yourself play out as it could have. I just don't know where to turn or what to really do, but I'm trying to stay strong in my decision to live my life or ultimately ctb if it gets to that point.

Thank you for the well wishes, and I return those wishes to you as well my friend 🙂 I hope things get easier for you also, however that may happen for you.
 
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Torabol

Torabol

Student
Apr 15, 2023
107
The relationship between me and my family have been deteriorating for awhile honestly. I'd say after my breakup is when it got significantly worse, and honestly it's probably because I distanced myself from people because it broke me so badly. I have several friends that have stuck by me and made sure I'm okay, but most others just make it seems as if they do not care what happens to me. But even before the breakup happened, I'd say that my connections family wise went down drastically due to them all mostly passing away unfortunately… it's depressing feeling this alone and not having the life you envisioned for yourself play out as it could have. I just don't know where to turn or what to really do, but I'm trying to stay strong in my decision to live my life or ultimately ctb if it gets to that point.

Thank you for the well wishes, and I return those wishes to you as well my friend 🙂 I hope things get easier for you also, however that may happen for you.
Sorry to hear about your family, very hurtful events. Feeling alone is truly awful, I feel as if every one of us really needs someone to sync with and fall back onto, nativity I suppose.

I remember envisioning a completely different version of myself too, when I was younger. Maybe we could have been our envisioned selves or have lived our envisioned lives if things worked out differently. Oh well.

Thanks for the kind words too.
 
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Baron

Baron

Is there a meaning to anything?
Jun 29, 2023
115
I don't understand why I'm still living either. And I don't understand why I am so depressed even though I got born into a family with no particular financial struggles and a loving mother. Yet I see no meaning in anything anymore. I think it depends on how you look at yourself and your future. If you still see some light in your life you should do everything in your power to reach it. If not you will probably end up in a vicious cycle of neverending hate and despair.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
47,242
It must be really tiring feeling trapped in that situation, it's horrible how we exist in a world where people suffer all through no fault of their own, to me other people certainly cannot be relied on. But anyway I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.
 

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