Help Need advice

[astrichaoz]

My head is a fucking mess right now and I need somewhere to dump this and also get feedback. So I didn't plan to kill myself until March, March 13th, I decided. I want to wait for the holidays to past and for my brother's birthday to pass as well. However, i don't think I can wait that long. I'm considering going out in November. I can't do it. I just don't think I can. Is it selfish of me to be doing it sooner? I know doing this would probably ruin the holidays for everyone but I just can't keep holding on and waiting. Its so much pain. And I'm so tired. I know noone can really make this choice for me as it is my decision and mine alone, but some personal opinions or views would be helpful please, maybe I can sort out what I'm going to do. Thanks.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you are in such a dark place. I'm not sure that there's ever a 'good time' to go in terms of the affect it may have on others. I suppose a specific date like a birthday could be bad. It also depends really on whether your family are big in remembering things like death days. I have a feeling a suicide will be remembered whenever it happens though. I'm so sorry. It's so difficult when we have people we don't want to hurt.

 

[dinosavr]

I think it's up to you, only you know how much longer you're able to hold on. I believe unless someone dies exactly during christmas time, it doesn't make much of a difference for the family, its going to be difficult either way

 

[coffeebeany]

I m sorry you are in so much pain. I can understand your desperation. I don't think there ever will be a good time. Sure, often holidays or birthdays are considered memorable times and people may feel sadder around them if they are associated with the loss of someone they love. But in the end it all depends on how you feel and if you are able to keep going a little longer. It seems like your family and brother are important to you. So only you know if you are able to. I wish you the best what ever you decide. It's never easy and I am so sorry you re suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence but anyway I wish you the best in what you decide, I'm sorry you have to suffer so much.