Story My timeline

[iwanttodie000]

This is the tentative timeline I've had in my head for a while, just wanted to get it out. I would love anyone to PM me and check into make sure I'm staying on this timeline.

Research, research, research and purchase gun by end of March so I have in my possession.

April: Take shooting classes so I am more familiar with the gun since I've never owned or handled one - so I don't fuck this up due to inexperience.

May: Live my last month really doing whatever the fuck I want and completing long suicide note.

May 31, 2021: My final day

Morning, drop off partner at work
Mid-Morning - have our final conversation when partner calls on break
Drive the 4 hours to spot I have picked
!2:00: Have one last lunch at one of my favorite places
1:00: Park and leave hard copy of suicide note in my car
5 minute walk, 5 minutes to take in my last view
1:10: Post public suicide note on social media
1:11: I find my peace and pull the trigger.

 

[WornOutLife]

Looks like you have a plan.

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point but I wish you the best of luck and peace, as you already know.

Hugs,

Matt

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I hope that in May you will accept whoever you are and continue living a pathetic and miserable life.

Erm, I'm not sure I follow. If they want to go because their experience of life is pathetic and miserable, why would they wish to prolong that agony? I hope OP gets what they want in the end. Of course, there are alternatives, but surely you understand that some people just don't want to try and try over and over again.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I hope that in May you will accept whoever you are and continue living a pathetic and miserable life.

 

[Kbeau]

Sounds like a plan. I have considered gun and, like you, have zero experience with them and would need to do what you're doing. I do know that some types of guns and/or bullets are better. Do you know what you will buy?

 

[iwanttodie000]

Sounds like a plan. I have considered gun and, like you, have zero experience with them and would need to do what you're doing. I do know that some types of guns and/or bullets are better. Do you know what you will buy?

I have researched on every method and I always come back to the gun. It's also symbolic for me with my depression/anxiety to just blow that fucker outta my head that's caused me so much fucking grief. I do not know exactly yet, preferably a 12 gauge or perhaps a 38 or 45. From what I understand, any of those should do the trick (if anyone is familiar with this, please PM me). I heard 00 slugs are the best, but I will definitely be doing my research prior to purchasing to make sure. Having never purchased or even handling a gun, I'm a bit apprehensive of purchasing one as I don't want to give away that I'm going to ctb with it ... hopefully I can devise a plan that sounds normal when I purchase it and can play it cool. In my mind, I'm sure I'll be thinking "they know I'm going to off myself with it" and throw a wrench in it. Hoping that's not the case!

Looks like you have a plan.

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point but I wish you the best of luck and peace, as you already know.

Hugs,

Matt

Thank you my friend. I've had that plan in my head, just feels good to put it in writing in a place like this where people actually understand me. Hopefully this goes off without a hitch and as things progress, I can always tweak it a little if needed,

 

[Kbeau]

I have researched on every method and I always come back to the gun. It's also symbolic for me with my depression/anxiety to just blow that fucker outta my head that's caused me so much fucking grief. I do not know exactly yet, preferably a 12 gauge or perhaps a 38 or 45. From what I understand, any of those should do the trick (if anyone is familiar with this, please PM me). I heard 00 slugs are the best, but I will definitely be doing my research prior to purchasing to make sure. Having never purchased or even handling a gun, I'm a bit apprehensive of purchasing one as I don't want to give away that I'm going to ctb with it ... hopefully I can devise a plan that sounds normal when I purchase it and can play it cool. In my mind, I'm sure I'll be thinking "they know I'm going to off myself with it" and throw a wrench in it. Hoping that's not the case!

Thank you my friend. I've had that plan in my head, just feels good to put it in writing in a place like this where people actually understand me. Hopefully this goes off without a hitch and as things progress, I can always tweak it a little if needed,

There was a recent post on the best angle for a gun as well. I'm partial to exit bag with nitrogen although the gun would seem more foolproof as long as its angled right.

 

[iwanttodie000]

There was a recent post on the best angle for a gun as well. I'm partial to exit bag with nitrogen although the gun would seem more foolproof as long as its angled right.

The exit bag was one that was on the top of my list. So many places online made it sound so simple, but then it sounded like it was hard to get pure nitrogen anymore and if it wasn't, it could fuck things up, so I took it off my list. I think it depends on what type of gun I get as to angle. If I get a 38 or 45 perhaps, I'd probably put it to the side of my head. If I could get a 12 gauge of something like that, I'd probably put it in my mouth. But still lots of research for me to do on all that for sure

 

[mini_weeny]

I have researched on every method and I always come back to the gun. It's also symbolic for me with my depression/anxiety to just blow that fucker outta my head that's caused me so much fucking grief. I do not know exactly yet, preferably a 12 gauge or perhaps a 38 or 45. From what I understand, any of those should do the trick (if anyone is familiar with this, please PM me). I heard 00 slugs are the best, but I will definitely be doing my research prior to purchasing to make sure. Having never purchased or even handling a gun, I'm a bit apprehensive of purchasing one as I don't want to give away that I'm going to ctb with it ... hopefully I can devise a plan that sounds normal when I purchase it and can play it cool. In my mind, I'm sure I'll be thinking "they know I'm going to off myself with it" and throw a wrench in it. Hoping that's not the case!

Thank you my friend. I've had that plan in my head, just feels good to put it in writing in a place like this where people actually understand me. Hopefully this goes off without a hitch and as things progress, I can always tweak it a little if needed,

You don't realize how scary guns are until you actually shoot one. I mishandled a 38 because I didn't know how to use it and it was given to me loaded and it went off and destroyed my hearing, got an acoustic trauma and hyperacusis a disease of the ears that disabled me completly so, be careful. Guns are not like in the movies and can seriously injure you and others. It's the reason I'm here.

 

[iwanttodie000]

You don't realize how scary guns are until you actually shoot one. I mishandled a 38 because I didn't know how to use it and it was given to me loaded and it went off and destroyed my hearing, got an acoustic trauma and hyperacusis a disease of the ears that disabled me completly so, be careful. Guns are not like in the movies and can seriously injure you and others. It's the reason I'm here.

Very true, I'm sorry that happened to you. That's why I was thinking about taking a class just on basic safety and operation since I haven't handled one before. They are definitely not like in the movies and this is a one shot deal for me, so I want to make sure it's successful when I do it.