My loving goodbye
Your beloved<33
- Apr 3, 2026
- 2
Hi this is my first post here! Been lurking for awhile but I think I finally am at my breaking point. I've been suicidal for a while, maybe since I was 8 or 9, but that was mostly wishing I'd die rather than active thoughts of death. For the active want to kill myself the earliest i remember is 12, I saw a guy blow his brains out on a livestream thing on accident and I realized I don't have to wish for something if I do it myself.
Came from a family full of issues, dad was a bad person, my mom was stereotypically quiet most of the time. Though the way my dad treated me and my brother was different from typical abuse, more threatening to send us away, hitting stuff around the house when he got mad, smothering us with a affection not born out of love but instead to use us as a crutch against his already crippling mental illnesses.
Thankfully they're apart now and I'm technically an adult and outta his reach, but sometimes I still remember when he'd bring up me slitting my wrists as a sorta get back when we'd argue.
I don't know why I'm typing so much or even at all. I guess I just need somewhere to be honest. I'm dying, feels like I'm decomposing every moment I'm alone, like my bones are sore from something I can't explain. Might talk more later but I'm not sure how to phrase everything, goodbye for now.
Came from a family full of issues, dad was a bad person, my mom was stereotypically quiet most of the time. Though the way my dad treated me and my brother was different from typical abuse, more threatening to send us away, hitting stuff around the house when he got mad, smothering us with a affection not born out of love but instead to use us as a crutch against his already crippling mental illnesses.
Thankfully they're apart now and I'm technically an adult and outta his reach, but sometimes I still remember when he'd bring up me slitting my wrists as a sorta get back when we'd argue.
I don't know why I'm typing so much or even at all. I guess I just need somewhere to be honest. I'm dying, feels like I'm decomposing every moment I'm alone, like my bones are sore from something I can't explain. Might talk more later but I'm not sure how to phrase everything, goodbye for now.
