Wow talk about 1st world problems.... A change of perspective would benefit you greatly. Can't you just change your identity or something and choose a different career? It sounds like you have the money to do so. Ex cons can turn their life around and they have very limited resources so I'm sure you can too. If you choose to live I'd suggest getting a good therapist as well. I see you're getting angry at people for not supporting your decision to ctb. In the end it is your decision. This is a pro choice site, but wanting to kys because you can't watch anime and got outed on the internet for being a dick is irrational, and I don't know if any pro choicer would suggest you ctb over that. *sighs* This is what happens when people overtly spoil and shelter their kids too much. I hope you can find peace.
I could technically watch anime, but it just makes me miss being able to voice act and work with my ex-pals. Living a life devoid of that circle is unbearable, especially since I had intended to devote my entire life to it. Lucky people get to do what they love for their entire lives. Sadly, I'm not as lucky as them.
If I had to give up anime and Japanese media, I'd be living a miserable life. No matter how alive I am physically, I'd still be dead inside. I've lost that part of my life, and I'm never gonna get it back. I've had therapists before, and I also went to an asylum three times. It wouldn't do me any good. Oh, and the fact that my parents told me that they're gonna send me to an asylum *again* if I remain unproductive just makes me wanna end it even quicker. A boring life is no good for me.