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lostforever77

lostforever77

Student
Dec 13, 2023
102
Sometimes I don't even know where to begin. I have no living family for the most part. I was adopted at birth and then the Birth Mother died from cancer when I was 8. Lived with her parents who raised me, who both died in my early 20's. They were pretty abusive, but I did get to take of them as they got ready to die. Got married and had two kids just to be told after 16 years that my wife is leaving me, taking my kids, and I will never see her again. By the way this was 2 days before my anniversary and a couple of days before Halloween. Of course Christmas is right around the corner and New years. Honestly there is a tiny part that thinks my wife wants me to take myself out, why else would she pick this exact time?

I am actually pretty successful monetarily, but I am not what you would call a "Alpha" male, as my wife as repeatedly reminded me. But I still love her and I still love my kids of course. She plans on serving me isoon. If she wants her freedom I would rather her do it as a widow than divorce, I also have a nice life insurance policy, which does cover death by suicide. I just don't have it in my anymore to keep going. I am almost 50, if I met someone today and went through this again, I would be left when I was over 60? Not to mention how do you trust anyone ever again, she basically said she has been lying for a long time about loving me. Yes, she can be very abusive, why do I lover her this much!

I am on anti depresents, but honestly while it helps with the emotions, it just means your have a clearer head to think with, which may not always be best. I will have soon not have a single person to morn me, I really can't think of anything sadder Well that is my story of why I joined this site.
 
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