My nightly pitiful bitching

[avoid_slow_death]

Sorry, but here I go again on another nightly "my life sucks" post.

Today was especially brutal. I woke up with the realization that thongs are truly over. Was still clinging desperately to a small sliver of hope last night, but yeah, that's gone. Fuck.....

I'm tired. Just really really tired. Tired in my mind. My heart and soul aren't because they are dead, but my mind? Its still here barely and it wants to rest too. Shut off.

I am a horrible fucked up piece of shit. At this point, I literally have isolated myself almost completely. I had wished for this years ago so I could go in peace, but, now that its reality, well, it really sucks. I wanted to have someone miss me....probably some will, but honestly? I really don't think my death will have the huge impact I think it will. I think most people will be a bit sad, but will move on quickly.

I just don't belong anywhere anymore. Not here, not somewhere else, not with anyone. Hell, not even this forum. I don't deserve it. I deserve scorn and ridicule and for nobody to care about me. Why? Because I am not necessary to anyone's life. Period. Nobody's life will be greatly affected or changed in any significant way if I am no longer here. I am simply a waste of resources, oxygen, energy and anything else this world has to offer. In fact, my very presence is causing someone who deserves these things to suffer without them. That's how horrible a person I am so I need to hurry up and make some space for someone worthwhile. Which means literally any other person on Earth because I am the very bottom ranking of human existence.

 

[whywere]

Hi! You ARE a very VALUABLE person in life AND here with your global family. Everyone has a gift in life, I am 65 years young, dumber than most, BUT I do have life experience, in so far as YOU belong to the family here and I care about and for YOU deeply. Sorry to disagree with you but I WOULD miss you here as part of our global family. My life would be affected with you here as you are a piece of all of us here and I need you. I hope you have a better day today, sending you lots of smiles and hugs and wishing you a bright sunny day to relax with a cold drink in hand. Walter ( yep real first name, 65 years young, gray hair and never phony)

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Hi! You ARE a very VALUABLE person in life AND here with your global family. Everyone has a gift in life, I am 65 years young, dumber than most, BUT I do have life experience, in so far as YOU belong to the family here and I care about and for YOU deeply. Sorry to disagree with you but I WOULD miss you here as part of our global family. My life would be affected with you here as you are a piece of all of us here and I need you. I hope you have a better day today, sending you lots of smiles and hugs and wishing you a bright sunny day to relax with a cold drink in hand. Walter ( yep real first name, 65 years young, gray hair and never phony)

See you around here quite a bit. You're a good guy and I do appreciate the thoughts, but, reality is cruel. I know I am basically a ghost. Been slowly fading out of existence over the years anyways, so, the next logical step is to disappear completely. Trust me, world will be fine without me. Probably be better.

 

[thinkkank]

I woke up with the realization that thongs are truly over.

now that's how you start a post

 

[avoid_slow_death]

now that's how you start a post

I type fairly fast, so, a lot of errors. I usually proofread, but, eh, I don't care. Besides, my mistake made someone smile so I was worth something for 1/1000th of a second.

 

[thinkkank]

we on the forum appreciate you

 

[avoid_slow_death]

we on the forum appreciate you

Thank you. I honestly appreciate that, but, I know my value. My current sad state proves that. Nobody to blame but me.

 

[whywere]

See you around here quite a bit. You're a good guy and I do appreciate the thoughts, but, reality is cruel. I know I am basically a ghost. Been slowly fading out of existence over the years anyways, so, the next logical step is to disappear completely. Trust me, world will be fine without me. Probably be better.

Not to be a jerk, but the world might be fine without you, BUT I sure the heck will not be. 65 years has taught me a few things through the decades and yes you are down and feel out, been there, no PLEASE do NOT lash out at me saying that I either do not understand or your so totally different, of course in some aspects, yes BUT..BUT in overall situational aspects no. When I say I need you with the global family here it becasue of the insights and thoughts that you bring, and YES YOU DO have valuable vision for the family. Just cloes your eyes , relax and you are with us here. I have through the decades, have had 2 attempts, been locked up, oh NOT FUN, bad food yuck!, and I am 100% by myself, no family or friends...BUT I have the global family here and YOU also, and I need you. Now that sounds selfish and self centered on my part but I am just stating why you are needed. Walter