burninghill
Experienced
- Dec 2, 2025
- 227
I have a lot of things about myself that I am ashamed of, but looking at gore is the only one that gets to me really deeply.
It makes you feel like an edgy 14 year old, 'oh yeah, I love to look at dead people… I'm so dark, so edgy... so broken…'
It came about for me when I was looking at deaths (and failed attempts) as a result of train collisions and doing my best at researching the best position to be in (at the time, I wasn't confident that I could lie down on the rails for a decapitation, so was looking for a second best option). The problem is, when you're looking for one thing, you're getting recommended a million others. It's so easy to just keep clicking and clicking and clicking. It just became a habit so quickly.
I think it got even worse when I started to have nightmares involving specific images I'd seen and when I woke up, I could exactly remember what influenced the dream. Sometimes my friends were victims and that made me even more ashamed. I wasn't ashamed of having a nightmare, just where it came from.
I hate to admit that looking at these images does work as a form of encouragement for me and I don't plan to stop despite my shame. Maybe that makes me a bad person. It's just comforting to see other people who have successfully used your method and died.
It makes you feel like an edgy 14 year old, 'oh yeah, I love to look at dead people… I'm so dark, so edgy... so broken…'
It came about for me when I was looking at deaths (and failed attempts) as a result of train collisions and doing my best at researching the best position to be in (at the time, I wasn't confident that I could lie down on the rails for a decapitation, so was looking for a second best option). The problem is, when you're looking for one thing, you're getting recommended a million others. It's so easy to just keep clicking and clicking and clicking. It just became a habit so quickly.
I think it got even worse when I started to have nightmares involving specific images I'd seen and when I woke up, I could exactly remember what influenced the dream. Sometimes my friends were victims and that made me even more ashamed. I wasn't ashamed of having a nightmare, just where it came from.
I hate to admit that looking at these images does work as a form of encouragement for me and I don't plan to stop despite my shame. Maybe that makes me a bad person. It's just comforting to see other people who have successfully used your method and died.
