NSFW My mom found the masturbation closet. I legitimately want to stop living.

[Lost in a Dream]

ps I'm never letting you make me a coffee!

Hey, that was a long time ago! Now the mugs only have coffee in them I swear!

 

[Ashu]

So...I'm 22 and live at home. I use my closet to jerk off in and have since I was a kid. I legitimately stand in there and finish in the corner of the carpet then slide my dresser back over the corner. There's literally almost a decade of cum built up there. When you get close the smell is absolutely foul but sometimes I'll spray frebreeze on it to hide the smell.

Yesterday my mother surprised me with a new dresser instead of the old value village one that's been there since I was born. We put the new one together and she said she'll help me move the old one. Panic set in and I told here it's okay I'll swap then out myself but she walked over and slid it back before I could stop her. I hadn't sprayed febreze in it in too long so it's definitely rank.

She screamed "Oh my god what is this!?" Then she realized what it is and yelled at me. Told me I'm a disgusting pervert and a animal and I need to clean it up immediately. My dad overheard her shouting so he came to see what was going on. He didn't say a word he just put his face in his hand and dry heaved when he saw the closet and left the room.

I got the carpet shampooer she owns and ran it but the cum is so ingrained into the carpet and actually soaked through over the years that there's just a huge obvious stain there now. My parents didn't talk to me for the rest of the day and they left for dinner at my grandmothers without me. Eventually they came back and my mom wants me to see a counselor now. My dad still can't look at me and hasn't talked to me.

This was the worst week ever.

Value Village... Canada?

 

[H25pital Order]

Ok then...not to make fun of your obvious embarrassment, but that was the best laugh I've had in a while. Thank you for posting that!!

You could always flip the script on mommy and tell her that your behavior is all her fault and she's the one that needs the counseling. Really have fun with it and see how badly you can torque her up. Make it a new hobby.

AND...by the way, if this is the worst thing to happen to you...you're doing pretty good...just sayin'.

Good point...every great comedian has a good masturbation / self deprivation story...youtube "Dave Chappelle Masturbates When His Wife Is Gone For Hours" . It's funny because it's true!

I laughed after the 10th time of reading! I fucking love this guy for posting, whether genuine or copy and paste. The only thing is that we've been left on a cliffhanger!

 

[the old man]

The reason I know ejaculate can stain porcelain is because when I was a kid, I thought masturbation was just a way to get rid of waste from the body—like urination or deification. No one taught me I wasn't supposed to ejaculate in the same place I urinated

It's good to know we have an expert on trajectory on the forum it could cum in useful

 

[eatantz]

This is actually insane

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Can't you just jerk off in the bathroom into the toilet??

 

[Saturn_]

dude wtf

 

[Ferdinand Bardamu]

I use my closet to jerk off in and have since I was a kid. I legitimately stand in there and finish in the corner of the carpet then slide my dresser back over the corner. There's literally almost a decade of cum built up there. When you get close the smell is absolutely foul but sometimes I'll spray frebreeze on it to hide the smell.

Deserved because of how fucking gross that is

 

[Saturn_]

damn we got jebaited

 

[EvisceratedJester]

damn we got jebaitedView attachment 138390

My disappointment is immeasurable...

 

[Ferdinand Bardamu]

damn we got jebaitedView attachment 138390

Made me KeK and cringe either way. GG to whoever wrote that