My manager surprised me by his kindness and humanity

[WaitingToGo]

Because of all time I keep taking off work going to shrinks, and how I was starting to look flaky to colleagues, at the suggestion of my niece I thought I'd let them know that I was being "treated" and bring them up to speed. Obviously I had to be a bit circumspect and not mention anything about my suicidal thoughts, I had a meeting with my supervisor and our manager. They were very concerned about me and later our manager sent me moving chat saying that I will get the space I need and that he's going to pray for me. (He's a religious man I found out.).
I think the reason he's going to pray for me is not to do with my mental state (although it could be), but the fact that last Sunday I found a lump in one of my breasts and I told them I had a doctors appointment. This is happening tomorrow morning immediately after another appointment with the psychiatrist. But what a fantastic thing for my manager to write. I was very moved by his humanity.
The lump is either something nasty or something to do with implants I got about 12 years ago. The doctor should send me for an X-ray hopefully tomorrow. But it got me thinking about euthanasia and how I would have a chance to get it granted If the lump was a terminal cancer. But I'm actually not bothered if it's something serious because I think I'm already on borrowed time. I feel relaxed about death, but I'm still cowardly. If it's a terminal cancer then it's out of my hands and I don't need to do anything. I've already decided I will refuse any treatment.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess in this world filled with cruel and insensitive people, it certainly can be surprising when people are kind. But anyway, I wish you the best, in a way I do see those with terminal illnesses as being fortunate as they just have to wait to die and don't have to find a way to leave themselves.

 

[Gaga786]

That does warm my heart to know that some people are still kind. Although, I've lost hope in humanity. Wishing you the best