My life is ruined and the only way out is death

[violetdevil]

I've been depressed since I was about 14. I'm 22 now. I've been to numerous therapists and nothing they say or ask me to do helps. I think I'll be depressed until I die.
I didn't graduate high school. I can get my GED but I bought a book to study and looking at it confuses the fuck out of me. I think I'm too stupid to pass. I can't get through college. I'll be working minimum wage forever.
I don't drive because I'm scared I'll have a panic attack and crash. I barely leave the house. I have no friends. I lost my job.
I need to kill myself because I don't have a future, but I don't have the guts to kill myself even though I have the gold standard, N. I'm scared of what it'll feel like before I pass out and the chance of failure.

 

[Darkover]

i wish i had your N i'd be gone tonight, my life is also ruined due to a brain injury, i've got no friends, i left school with nothing, i don't drive, lucky for me i get goverment welfare and don't need to work anymore.

 

[Eternal Sleep!]

You have Nembutal, then you are a lucky basterd!

And also did you tried Ketamine or ECT for your depression, it could help you.

 

[Minsu]

i wish i had your N i'd be gone tonight, my life is also ruined due to a brain injury, i've got no friends, i left school with nothing, i don't drive, lucky for me i get goverment welfare and don't need to work anymore.

Same, if I had N i would be gone within 30 minutes

 

[Leagueofgentlemen]

Can I have it? ;) Where on earth did you get it? I'm sorry things have been so shit for you, are you sure there aren't any medications that can help? I had bad depression 12 years ago so I know how hopeless it is.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring being trapped in that situation but anyway best wishes, existing here really can be so dreadful.

 

[violetdevil]

Can I have it? ;) Where on earth did you get it? I'm sorry things have been so shit for you, are you sure there aren't any medications that can help? I had bad depression 12 years ago so I know how hopeless it is.

I take Effexor which does help but I'm still a failure. I got it from D about a year ago but he's no longer selling

 

[ord3045]

is there a guide for using N?

 

[violetdevil]

You have Nembutal, then you are a lucky basterd!

And also did you tried Ketamine or ECT for your depression, it could help you.

I haven't tried them.

i wish i had your N i'd be gone tonight, my life is also ruined due to a brain injury, i've got no friends, i left school with nothing, i don't drive, lucky for me i get goverment welfare and don't need to work anymore.

How much does welfare give you a month? It's enough to live on? Do you rent?

 

[delora]

I'm sorry you've gone through that for so long. Depression is a bitch.
And being afraid is understandable. Death comes with the unknown, and it's intrinsic to humans to be fearful of that.

As far as I know, N has a pretty lengthy shelf life if sealed and stored correctly. So, if you're hesitant... Maybe take your time until you possibly feel more at peace with the idea. You deserve some tranquility in your final moments.

 

[Ker]

What is N? please tell me
I've been here recently and I don't understand

 

[violetdevil]

is there a guide for using N?

N PROTOCOL / REGIME / REGIMEN NOTES

This is not a “comprehensive” write up. You should read the peaceful pill handbook (see forum resources area), plus learn to use the “search” function on this forum, etc. As always, do your own due diligence to check possible interactions, side effects, etc. Apply your own judgement and take...

sanctioned-suicide.net

What is N? please tell me
I've been here recently and I don't understand

Nembutal. It's usually used for euthanasia of animals, assisted suicide, and lethal injection of criminals.

I'm sorry you've gone through that for so long. Depression is a bitch.
And being afraid is understandable. Death comes with the unknown, and it's intrinsic to humans to be fearful of that.

As far as I know, N has a pretty lengthy shelf life if sealed and stored correctly. So, if you're hesitant... Maybe take your time until you possibly feel more at peace with the idea. You deserve some tranquility in your final moments.

Thank you. I'm definitely too scared to do it right now.

 

[ord3045]

N PROTOCOL / REGIME / REGIMEN NOTES

This is not a “comprehensive” write up. You should read the peaceful pill handbook (see forum resources area), plus learn to use the “search” function on this forum, etc. As always, do your own due diligence to check possible interactions, side effects, etc. Apply your own judgement and take...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Nembutal. It's usually used for euthanasia of animals, assisted suicide, and lethal injection of criminals.

Thank you. I'm definitely too scared to do it right now.

its not medication for epilepsy?