my goodbye

[badenddonuts]

today's the day. i haven't been on this website for long, at least not with an account, but for as long as i have it's been very useful to me. i'm grateful for all the resources provided with ease of access, especially considering i hadn't settled on a solid plan until i went on here. i'm also grateful to all the people who offered companionship and support, though i did not take anyone up on those offers. i've always been a very private person, and social interaction isn't exactly on my list of things to do, hahaha.

once i finish writing this, i'm going out to dinner for my last meal (ramen and takoyaki if anyone is curious. takoyaki is my favorite food, and the ramen is just the main dish.) and after 2 hours it'll be time to leave. i'm not going to say i'm satisfied with my life, not at all, but i'm at a point where there is no way to be satisfied. so, that's that. i think i'll be much better off when i'm gone. there is a chance i will not succeed, of course, and if i fail i'll probably become a somewhat frequent user of this website.

i set up a playlist of my favorite songs for those who care to listen. i've listened to most of them for years, and the ones that i haven't are still very dear to my heart. my absolute favorite is aiirenai. if i were to have one wish granted upon my death, it would be for rulu to receive the recognition they deserve for their compositional work. they're my favorite artist by far. here is the link. it is linked to my regular youtube account, so fair warning. i don't post anything on there, but you know how things are with all that. you should also all play stella glow. it is my favorite 3ds game. music and stella glow are my only true passions in this world. i was born to be a walking advertisement for a game that no one cares about.

i expected to have much more to say, but the words aren't really coming to mind, hahaha..in any case, i wish everyone here all the happiness in the world. i hope you all succeed in your goals, regardless of what those goals are.
the link messed up the formatting but honestly i'll be dead in like 4 hours so i don't care. haha

 

[darksouls]

good luck,
I hope everything goes well for you
and you find the peace you desire

 

[Realog11]

today's the day. i haven't been on this website for long, at least not with an account, but for as long as i have it's been very useful to me. i'm grateful for all the resources provided with ease of access, especially considering i hadn't settled on a solid plan until i went on here. i'm also grateful to all the people who offered companionship and support, though i did not take anyone up on those offers. i've always been a very private person, and social interaction isn't exactly on my list of things to do, hahaha.

once i finish writing this, i'm going out to dinner for my last meal (ramen and takoyaki if anyone is curious. takoyaki is my favorite food, and the ramen is just the main dish.) and after 2 hours it'll be time to leave. i'm not going to say i'm satisfied with my life, not at all, but i'm at a point where there is no way to be satisfied. so, that's that. i think i'll be much better off when i'm gone. there is a chance i will not succeed, of course, and if i fail i'll probably become a somewhat frequent user of this website.

i set up a playlist of my favorite songs for those who care to listen. i've listened to most of them for years, and the ones that i haven't are still very dear to my heart. my absolute favorite is aiirenai. if i were to have one wish granted upon my death, it would be for rulu to receive the recognition they deserve for their compositional work. they're my favorite artist by far. here is the link. it is linked to my regular youtube account, so fair warning. i don't post anything on there, but you know how things are with all that. you should also all play stella glow. it is my favorite 3ds game. music and stella glow are my only true passions in this world. i was born to be a walking advertisement for a game that no one cares about.

i expected to have much more to say, but the words aren't really coming to mind, hahaha..in any case, i wish everyone here all the happiness in the world. i hope you all succeed in your goals, regardless of what those goals are.
the link messed up the formatting but honestly i'll be dead in like 4 hours so i don't care. haha

Good luck

 

[amor.dor]

If this is your will, I wish for you to be at peace. Don't rush.

 

[Sphinxi]

It sounds like from your message that there are still things in this world that you like and want to impact. If you feel differently after eating a nice meal, there is no shame in abandoning ctb for today. There's no need to hurry. Wishing you peace

 

[dalemar]

I hope you find the peace you deserve, good luck!

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace.

 

[WildChoice.]

Maybe all is not lost, maybe there is still something important.

 

[badenddonuts]

most embarrassing thing in the world is failing to kill yourself but not even badly enough that you're in the hospital so you just have to Live and go to work the next day. good lord. thank you for all your well-wishes and whatnot, regardless..

 

[preachyflockk]

Don't be embarrassed, killing a human being is hard

 

[badenddonuts]

most embarrassing thing in the world is failing to kill yourself but not even badly enough that you're in the hospital so you just have to Live and go to work the next day. good lord. thank you for all your well-wishes and whatnot, regardless..

part of me is grateful because there is a hotel cat and he would have been scared of the police coming and going, i'm sure, but i am mostly just annoyed. and tired. and my neck is sore.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Be kind to yourself, hope you can get some rest. Sending love

 

[Sphinxi]

part of me is grateful because there is a hotel cat and he would have been scared of the police coming and going, i'm sure, but i am mostly just annoyed. and tired. and my neck is sore.

How was the food?

 

[Xi-Xi]

part of me is grateful because there is a hotel cat and he would have been scared of the police coming and going, i'm sure, but i am mostly just annoyed. and tired. and my neck is sore.

You're alive, I see...

 

[badenddonuts]

How was the food?

it was good. the place i was planning on going to got super busy right before i was set to leave, so there weren't any seats, so i ended up ordering food to the hotel from a different place. i still got takoyaki, though.

 

[JustBe]

See you in Valhalla.

 

[MyLastTour]

most embarrassing thing in the world is failing to kill yourself but not even badly enough that you're in the hospital so you just have to Live and go to work the next day. good lord. thank you for all your well-wishes and whatnot, regardless..

Hey, try not to feel too bad about it. Our bodies weren't exactly to be easily killed.

You know, it's actually quite hard to know what should be said when a plan hasn't gone as you thought it should have. It would feel wrong to deny your choice and say 'I'm glad you're here', but also quite wrong to say that I wish you weren't. So I suppose it's an odd boat to be in for all of us anyway.

I'm glad you enjoyed your dinner though, just try to take care of yourself now, and I hope whatever time you choose to stay a bit longer for won't be too stressful on you :)