iDesireDeath
Member
- Nov 26, 2024
- 48
yeah... i am a fucked up individual. 18 M, but sometimes i act girly. I get a lot of weird fantasies, lately i am craving physical torture, i want someone to beat me up, thinking of it makes me hard. I am usually straight but sometimes i feel attracted to boys. in the last two years my mind has gone completely insane, i create different characters in my mind and start to role play alone in my hostel room, i also created twitter profiles for three of those characters, made a lot of good friends there but i lost them all being the fucked up person i am. i started fighting for no reason at all, i regret being born, i regret not dying at infancy or in my mother's womb. I might commit suicide in a few weeks, i am not sure. but if i do, i want to meet all of my characters in the afterlife, i want to talk to them, spend some time with them and i wish to make passionate love with all of them.
i am getting fucked up thoughts again. my hands are numb, i am severely sleep deprived, cannot sit down and study. i have caused enormous trouble to all my friends, and family.
i am ready to hang a any moment, all my drives a encrypted, accounts are all disposable/temporary, the room is clean. i have rehearsed everything a couple weeks ago, and i can execute it perfectly, and not chicken out.
but i simply don't feel like it, i don't know why.
i sometimes wish that one of my characters meet me irl and kill me.
i am getting fucked up thoughts again. my hands are numb, i am severely sleep deprived, cannot sit down and study. i have caused enormous trouble to all my friends, and family.
i am ready to hang a any moment, all my drives a encrypted, accounts are all disposable/temporary, the room is clean. i have rehearsed everything a couple weeks ago, and i can execute it perfectly, and not chicken out.
but i simply don't feel like it, i don't know why.
i sometimes wish that one of my characters meet me irl and kill me.
