scares of SI

[pelicanportal]

I am very worried about survival instinct, I am worried about pursuing a chosen method (SN, overdose, N, poisoning) then regretting it but it being too late to do anything, my last moments in fear hopelessly thrashing around like a euthanized animal. I am 100% confident in my decision but I am so scared of SI fucking it up, or if I freak out so hard I try to get help and do get "saved" that I am hospitalized and lose all of my chosen method. Like I only get a few shots to kill myself a preferred way and those methods get taken from me and cannot be replaced. Any advice? What can I do other than benzos, which I have a decent tolerance for already, or propranalol? I am sure of the choice but FUCK SI.

 

[ificouldlivewithout]

Commenting because I relate and I need some answers too

 

[gardenhouse]

I am very worried about survival instinct, I am worried about pursuing a chosen method (SN, overdose, N, poisoning) then regretting it but it being too late to do anything, my last moments in fear hopelessly thrashing around like a euthanized animal. I am 100% confident in my decision but I am so scared of SI fucking it up, or if I freak out so hard I try to get help and do get "saved" that I am hospitalized and lose all of my chosen method. Like I only get a few shots to kill myself a preferred way and those methods get taken from me and cannot be replaced. Any advice? What can I do other than benzos, which I have a decent tolerance for already, or propranalol? I am sure of the choice but FUCK SI.

N as in Nembutal? That's actually the most peaceful painless way, if only it was available over the counter.

Any bonzos wouldn't kill you, benzo is supposed to make you unconscious while the drug which is meant to stop your heart is going into action.

 

[pelicanportal]

Any bonzos wouldn't kill you, benzo is supposed to make you unconscious while the drug which is meant to stop your heart is going into action.

I know, it is advised to take to reduce SI but my tolerance is built up that it won't help

 

[squiddedoutt]

I don't know if you think this is possible for you, but for me having accepted and being fully confident in my decision to die would be enough. Also preparing a peaceful environment and state of mind.

 

[Dontwant2Bhere]

I don't know if you think this is possible for you, but for me having accepted and being fully confident in my decision to die would be enough. Also preparing a peaceful environment and state of mind.

Easier said than done, though. Hard to be "confident" in something that ends with death. It's a very serious thing.

 

[pelicanportal]

Even if I feel confident in my decision the SI kicking in after I have done it is what scares me and I am looking for advice to overcome that