bl33ding_heart
Borderline
- Jun 24, 2025
- 172
I was brought into this world by two selfish idiots that had no idea how to raise a kid properly. And because of that I was doomed with developing bpd and having a life a million times more difficult than someone without it. It's so unfair that I have to suffer so much and live in this pointless existence where there is no hope for me all because two people decided I should exist. When in reality I shouldn't, and I should of never been born to begin with. There is no hope for someone like me in this world. I will never be able to function like a normal person and have the happiness and peace that people without bpd have. All of the things that are giving me "reasons to live" are mere coping mechanisms and they will only be able to please me temporary. I hate the idea of having an existence that revolves around coping with the deep rooted hollowness in my heart. It feels so horrible that sometimes I even try to make myself split or emotionally hurt myself intentionally cus I just physically can't cope with the feeling of feeling like nothing. It feels like I'm an empty non existent being possessing this vessel called a body. I feel like the physical epitome of a black hole and it's one of the worst feelings anyone could have. And when I'm not feeling so horrendously empty I'm being overwhelmed by all of my intense emotions and physically can't deal with them. I just wish god could be kind enough to give me the strength to give up.
