My momma also beat the shit out of me when I was young, but overall she was a good mom. She was crying when I told her I couldn't come visit (I didn't want to) and it broke my heart. She prepared a lot of things along with my dad expecting my visit. So I had to come. Just told her everything was alright despite some hiccups here and there. She gets worried easily, so I rather not tell her how I really feel. I don't think she would be able to comprehend it anyways. She fells ill easily too, years of hardship (she didn't have a good life) are finally taking a toll on her.
I just noticed how happy she is for me just being there. I didn't bring her any presents and she didn't mind, actually it felt like she was doing more for me that I did for her. I probably never noticed before because she was constantly angry or sad, she never knew how to put her feelings into words and ultimately resorted to violence. I learned not to judge her for it, life was hellish under dad's.
I'm sure she will miss me, she will probably follow after me when I'm gone, if anything it feels like the right ending for her tragic life. But I'm hanging there for her, i want to give her as many happy moments as possible before I can't take it anymore. Hopefully that day is after her parting.