Morality of inflicting grief

[avalokitesvara]

Do you have a moral/ethical framework for approaching the consequences of your death on the people in your life? For the majority of the people who care about me I feel able to disregard their pain, because I care more about my freedom, and because they are adults who have their own responsibility to cope with adverse experiences which befall them such as losing a loved one.
However when it comes to the children in my life (nephews, I am not a parent) I am quite stimied by the imagination of what my voluntary death would do to their developing psyches, the sense of abandonment and the introduction of the idea of suicide into their lives at such a young age seems like an extremely evil thing to consciously do. I'm not sure how to get around this other than slowly fading from their lives until they lose a sense of connection with me, and then doing it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't feel like I can inflict that pain on my Dad. Because I love him too much. Because he's already gone through so much shit in life. Because I think he may have considered suicide himself when my Mum died but, he hang on for me. So, I'm returning the favour I suppose in holding on for him.

Everyone else, I still have mixed feelings about. I still feel bad about it but, I'm largely estranged from a lot of people so- I'm hoping that distance will help.

Like you, it's maybe the younger ones I feel the worst about. An old friend has a child who I think is pretty sensitive. I worry about his reaction although really- we've only met a handful of times. It's more that it could upset this friend though. Although again, we've mostly lost touch.

I think, once my Dad has gone though, the balance will shift in my favour- that it will be time to put my needs first. My suicide shouldn't come as a complete shock to my closest friends anyway. They know I've had ideation from childhood.

 

[LostLily]

That is why I feel so ashamed about my desire to ctb. Because doing so will put my desire over my friends and family's.

 

[Seele]

I didn't ask to be born, I have the right to die, if my family neglected me since childhood and this caused me trauma, I don't have to worry about my suicide...