Discussion Missed the ground. Landed in a psych ward instead.

[farawaystar]

I tried to jump. Didn't even make it to the bridge. Someone saw me and called it in. Now I'm here. Psych ward. White walls. Fluorescent lights. No windows you can actually open.

The nurses are nice. They talk softly and bring tea without asking. But there's nothing to do. No art. No music. No books except old magazines from 2022. I spend most of my day staring at the ceiling or walking the same hallway back and forth.

I told them I was fine. They didn't believe me. Now I'm on watch. They check on me every fifteen minutes. Even at night. Especially at night.

I thought I'd feel relieved after failing. I don't. I just feel more trapped. Not because they're cruel. Because there's nothing here to hold onto. Just time. Slow, heavy, pointless time.

I hope I don't stay here long. The longer I stay, the worse my head gets. I wasn't okay before. I'm definitely not okay now. But at least I had a plan. Now I don't even have that.

Just wanted to write it somewhere people might understand. If you've been in a place like this, you know what I mean. If not, I hope you never do

 

[whywere]

My heart breaks for you, as YES, I have been there more than once, and the nurses I had were nice, food lousy and had to play their games to get out.

Wishing you lots of hugs, the knowledge that we are together in this and you are a loving soul.

Walter

 

[fadedghost]

I tried to jump. Didn't even make it to the bridge. Someone saw me and called it in. Now I'm here. Psych ward. White walls. Fluorescent lights. No windows you can actually open.

The nurses are nice. They talk softly and bring tea without asking. But there's nothing to do. No art. No music. No books except old magazines from 2022. I spend most of my day staring at the ceiling or walking the same hallway back and forth.

I told them I was fine. They didn't believe me. Now I'm on watch. They check on me every fifteen minutes. Even at night. Especially at night.

I thought I'd feel relieved after failing. I don't. I just feel more trapped. Not because they're cruel. Because there's nothing here to hold onto. Just time. Slow, heavy, pointless time.

I hope I don't stay here long. The longer I stay, the worse my head gets. I wasn't okay before. I'm definitely not okay now. But at least I had a plan. Now I don't even have that.

Just wanted to write it somewhere people might understand. If you've been in a place like this, you know what I mean. If not, I hope you never do

I'm sorry. There's no emotional abuse quite like psychiatric emotional abuse.

They use a lack of stimulation as a form of abuse and cruelty there and justify it as safety. Every cruelty is justified under "safety." Fluorescent lights? safety. Shining a flashlight on your face at night and waking you up? Safety. No music or books or stimulation? Safety.

It's awful, they are awful.

They are also charging you a huge amount if you are in a county without insurance. If you have insurance, ie you are rich, they will max out your insurance and possibly let you go after that. The goal is money for them, that's why they don't have things like music or headphones to listen to music online or movies; the point is money and your suffering doesn't matter.

I was never a Scientologist, and am not a Scientologist, but I used to think those people were crazy... until I got caught up in psychaitry's web and realized how fucking evil and cruel it is. Now I get having a religion that is all about being anti-psychiatry to try to find some way, any way, of keeping those monster's out. I don't even know if I believe Scientology's beliefs (other than anti-psychiatry) matter to them and if the the beliefs aren't just another buffer against something truly evil.

I don't know what to say to you. Involuntary care sucks. Are they drugging you on tranquilizers yet?

If you want to freak out, read this: https://allthatsinteresting.com/quantum-immortality

It's possible you actually did die. ALSO IF YOU READ THAT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DO NOT DISCUSS IT WITH ANYONE AT THE PSYCH WARD. You'll end up popping more pills than Clavicular, and it won't be by choice.

 

[darksouls]

I am so sorry for your situation, I am sending you much love

My heart breaks for you, as YES, I have been there more than once, and the nurses I had were nice, food lousy and had to play their games to get out.

Wishing you lots of hugs, the knowledge that we are together in this and you are a loving soul.

Walter

for me it was the opposite,
the food was good, the nurses were mean and disgusting to me