Venting might be getting diagnosed with BPD. want to kill myself.

[Kokonoe]

not like officially diagnosed with it or anything yet but it's been suggested by my therapist and my psychiatrist that i probably have it and should consider it and am showing behaviors of it. and this was brought up twice within the first week of starting the IOP. and they did like a fucking screening for it (without telling me what it was for ofc) and i legit said yes/agreed to every question they asked me. i'm so fucking cooked.
i have only really had horrible experiences with people with BPD and have been treated so fucking badly (read: abused) by people with it that i'm so upset at the thought of having it myself. i don't want to fuckin be like them at all. that's so upsetting. and it's just *another* thing to deal with and i'm sick of it. i'm already so ill. i already have too much i have to deal with every day of my life. i don't want even more. why does it always just get worse. fuck my stupid dollgirl life man.

 

[U. A.]

You need -1 more posts to view this content

 

[kunikuzushi]

Having BPD doesn't make you an abuser or a bad person. There are plenty of abusers across all kinds of people, mental illness or not. Just as there are many kind and loving people with BPD.

 

[anopenwound]

I have BPD. It's a nightmare. The feeling of being inherently so broken you cant help but hurt others is part of what makes it so bad. You dont have to be one of those people. The diagnosis itself just means youre suffering and hopefully will be able to get help for it now.

 

[Abyss Dweller]

Just two things.
1. I agree with kunikuzushi
2. I remember your goodbye thread. I know and fear it means little but I'm really glad you are still with us. And I really hope you are planning on staying <3