Discussion Menstruation and suicidal ideation

[deademotionsindepth]

It is good to see there is a discussion about this topic here. I lived with PMS most of my adult life and it turned to become very intense a few years ago, something like PMDD. I ran to the gynecologist ASAP and I was found to have a cyst on one of my ovaries and later ultrasounds confirmed that these benign cysts are coming and going for me. Well, something around 1.5 inches growing on an organ of mine responsible for hormones is not a joke in terms of its effects. I've read that the intense hormonal changes and personal sensitivity to these changes are what is behind PMS/PMDD.

The doctor recommended vitex agnus castus pills, sold for premenstrual issues here but that failed to work for me. Fortunately I've managed to try out topical progesterone, derived from the plant mexican yam, and it's been a life saver reducing roughly 80% of my irritability, stress, anger, intense and extreme emotional swings and so on turning up exactly at the middle of my cycle. My trick is to start using it 2 days before this downfall and it helps a great deal to carry myself through the second half which was hell before.

By now I'm on a strong SNRI which also helps with this as I live with very little normal emotions, most of the times I'm fairly numb but the insane cycle rollercoaster is still there to deal with for me, and the progesterone still works. I hope this can help someone suffering with a similar issue.

 

[ConstantPain]

I went on estrogen containing birth control as a teenager because my periods were awful, including worsened depression. For a few years I took it as prescribed and still had a period. They were always awful. A doctor finally told me in my early 20's that I didn't have to keep having periods and that it is fine to skip the last, inactive week in a monthly pack and to start a new pack instead. They tell you to take a break from them every 3 or 4 months but I never did it that often because I hated my periods and myself every time I started bleeding.
Skip to age 35 and because I'm a smoker, they switched me to a progesterone only pill with no estrogen. I started bleeding almost non-stop, became more and more depressed and got very suicidal. They kept telling me it was going to get better but thankfully I had a routine appointment with my primary doctor. I burst out in tears, couldn't stop, and the doctor did a screening of my abdomen. He realized that I was also severely constipated which I hadn't even noticed because the bleeding, pain, and depression were so bad. He told me I needed estrogen, it was like my body wouldn't even function right without it. He put me back on estrogen containing pills and shortly I started feeling better. From then until I was 38 he prescribed my birth control but then that stopped when I moved to a different state. Thankfully by then (2015) birth control pills became available online. I lie and tell them I'm a nonsmoker and that I want to skip periods and they mail me the pills. Now I'm 49 and I still get them that way.. I started perimenopause a couple years ago and it's brutal with my temperature regulation, not just hot flashes but also freezing spells and I have gradually been getting more depressed but still not bleeding. I fear the day they say I'm too old for the pill and know I will need to take estrogen, unless of course I can manage to die before then.

Sorry for how long winded this is but I wanted to make it clear that even without studies, me and my old primary care doctor knew I needed estrogen containing pills. He understood that preventing a blood clot is pointless if I'm going to kill myself anyways. I'm still a heavy smoker but regrettably, have never had a blood clot or stroke.

I'm glad for every study they do and more attention the topic gets. It's a potentially deadly aspect of life for a significant amount of the population.