Maybe I should give up

[sad_rain]

I was on such a high. I was doing so well for myself my career my life my friendship my relationship… all down the drain in 1 night not that anything happened but I became what I feared most which is being suicidal again. I never thought I would come back to this place I was doing so so so well. I was the most positive person you could think of. And now crying while typing this with piles of tablets next to my hand I am thinking where did I go wrong. What did I do. Did I have to ruin everything in myself. Am I destined to be sad and alone. Maybe I should be alone life would be better for everyone. I have so many good people in my life I got friends close friends and none close. I am finally getting 1st at uni. My family live is great. I got a boyfriend. Not to be narcissistic, but I am not bad looking. I just am not worthy of this worthy and too weak… I am almost embarrassed

 

[COP2CON]

I think your worthy of what you've got. If thought of suicide every day for nearly 30 years. Have no idea why it started but it did. If your feeling guilty don't. Having good people and good things going on is not exclusive to certain people. Its available to everyone including you. Breathe in, hold it 3-5 seconds, breathe out. Think of something happy for each breath. Your in a low, wait for it to pass. I'm proud of you and what you have accomplished. I hope you can allow the good into you again. Your special and people love and care about you. Your worth it.