loved ones stop me from killing myself but not in the way you might think

[starrvingstar]

my dog has always kept me alive, when i was fourteen stupid and wiuld have acted on impulse to ctb.

later on in life i ran with that, thinking of how devastated my dog would be without me in her life.

i got my first boyfriend and tried to get better for him, but i did not like that experience.

these days the reason i dont want to die is because i dont want my loved ones to move on to someone new. i dont want my boyfriend to fall in love with another girl, i dont want my dog to love someone more than she loves me.

 

[peachchildtenshi]

i dont want my loved ones to move on to someone new

I am currently experiencing the current situation that you hope not to happened. It has been years since the break but, I just could not forgive myself since then and I recently found out she has already moved on to someone new. If only I could explain how much it has mentally drained me to this day as I could not go a single day without blaming myself with everything that I have done and the fact that I hate myself deeply.
everything is my fault.
I hope you get what you desire at the end of the tunnel though.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

Funny reason but as valid as any. Lol.

 

[starrvingstar]

Funny reason but as valid as any. Lol.

little string to hold on to when i have nothing else to... its almost more of a possession thing but yeah its silly i just hate to leave her or let her love my mother more than me lmfao

 

[Myforevercharlie]

It sounds to me like you're afraid people / pets will forget about you. That feeling is very human.

 

[starrvingstar]

It sounds to me like you're afraid people / pets will forget about you. That feeling is very human.

ive never thought like that about it, i also think i want them to be mine forever lol. its a bit selfish. but id hate to make a person who loves me suffer no matter how i feel about them. i know i have friends who care but at the same time its too painful to hold on for them most days.