losing a loved one

[frommetoyou]

not technically a suicide discussion and kinda just venting. a lot of people have dealt with the loss of a parent or close loved one, and i want to know how you all have coped with it.

i lost my dad to addiction in April 2024, i was 20. i was his only known family in the area, so it was also my duty to handle all of the things that come after death, like choosing his resting place and handling paperwork. he was left homeless due to his addiction, so the whole situation cut harder than anything i could have ever imagined. i miss him every day. i'll never forget the comfort he brought me when i was little, he was the best dad i could have asked for. addiction took him from our family when i was a teenager, and eventually the world. i coped by throwing myself in the work of finding and placing him in his resting place, and then throwing myself into picking up another job, so i was working 7 days a week. the only way i could cope is keeping my mind so busy, the only time i could cry was in my car after work.
it was hard being a teenager and trying to understand why he cant visit anymore. when i did try to see him, seeing him in that state was heartbreaking. i wish things were different and my dad was still here and he never got into that stuff. i wish it every day. im almost grateful that greif never goes away, so i can keep remembering him every day. some days are easier, and other days it leads me to a full blown anxiety attack. he was the only positive influence on my life until he couldn't be around anymore, and i only saw him three times in the years in between until he passed away. he was the only adult in my life that i felt truly loved by.

i know its kinda uncommon to lose a parent so early in life, but greif works the same for everyone, no matter what stage of life we're in. i wonder how losing someone this close impacts others, so please feel free to share your story or some of your favorite memories you shared with the people you have lost.

 

[behindtheveil]

My mom was my world and she was taken away. And if I may be honest, it took something from my soul as well. I could have never imagine her leaving but I guess so does many of us. It's been hard but it also gave me a purpose to meet her in heaven. She was so kind, loving and used to do so much good for everyone. I believe that she might have become an angel. And I am a mere mortal trying to survive and do some good so that I do get the chance of hugging her once again.
I am sorry for your loss and hope that you get the strength to rise up from the grief. It's as if we are all travelers waiting at a train station for our train home. So, my fellow traveler I hope something good happens to you while you are here. Lots of love and blessings.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd lost my Mum, Grandpa and Nana by the age of ten. It had a big impact on my life. Especially my Mum's death- I was 3 so- have next to no memory of her.

I'm not really sure what I've done to cope with it. My Dad couldn't really cope with me grieving over my Mum so- that tends to reappear in cycles. I'm in my mid forties and can still have times where I'm crying over her.

As a result of my Dad's second marriage, I went through severe bullying and developed ideation at that stage. So- family ended up being something to try and get away from. I suppose over time- that has lead me to become pretty isolated/ closed off to people.

I also acted similarly to you- threw myself into pursuing a (creative) career. Being creative was also my coping mechanism growing up. It's been my lifeline really for so long. It's really only because I don't feel the same enthusiasm now that things are so bad at the moment.

I feel more numb recently. It might be the passage of time maybe. I'm taking St. John's Wort again so- maybe that is starting to take the edge off. More likely though, it's probably just a calmer phase for me at the moment. Not that long ago, I was crying most days.

I felt the grief far more intensely when I was younger though. It is like the above member said- I think when we lose people, we do lose a part of ourselves also. Because- that part of you that related to and was uniquely understood and loved by that other person now has no one here to relate to in that way.

I was pretty lucky really in that I had a series of mother figures in life but, they've also all died now. On the one hand, it's been awful. On the other though- my sights are set on suicide now. In a more real way than just having passive ideation. While some of those people were very supportive, they were also tethers here. I didn't feel like I could go while they were still alive. My Dad is the only one left I am waiting for. Not that I wish him harm but then, I'm struggling now to keep going. It's going to be devastating when he does go but then- it will finally mean I'm free to go too. Plus- that intense grief may help push me to do it.