Help Looking for CTB pills - painful

[probablynotthefirst]

i'm looking for something excruciatingly painful and long resulting in CTB. Preferably commonly found in homes, and if it fails, doesn't make me a vegetable



and i'm choosing pills bc i don't want to affect my outer body/nothing violent so hanging, cutting and else were pretty much out from the beginning

Thanks.

 

[CatLvr]

Can I ask why you are specifically wanting something you know is gonna hurt??

 

[pappapgold]

Also why do you want such a high chance of it failing.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

If it's painful and deadly it'll most likely make you a vegetable in case of failure. It's a very specific requirement and you probably wont find a definitive answer here because most people want something painless that's as effective as possible.

I understand wanting not to affect your body or go through something violent, there are methods for that, but they don't fulfill your other criteria. Failing an amitriptyline overdose, for example, can have long-term damage and is more than 50% effective. SN, the preferred method in these forums, is supposed to not have long-term damage, but it's quite effective and is supposed to be relatively painless compared to an OD.

 

[moonflow3r]

get run by a car, i honestly don't know

 

[opheliaoveragain]

also confused as to why you'd be asking after methods that have a high failure rate?

 

[probablynotthefirst]

Can I ask why you are specifically wanting something you know is gonna hurt??

Some self-flog while praying, others find relief in SH. In my case, I believe that I have taken more than i have given back ; if successful, even in death I will remain a burden. I wanna make sure that it doesn't go unpunished

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Some self-flog while praying, others find relief in SH. In my case, I believe that I have taken more than i have given back ; if successful, even in death I will remain a burden. I wanna make sure that it doesn't go unpunished

I can almost understand this reasoning. but most, not all, but really most, methods that have a high failure percentage, it's likely there will be consequences to you physically which will require care, which to me is given out of love, but would kind of be antithetical to what you're saying here.

no disrespect meant. we're just trying to understand.

 

[gothbird]

I'll be honest—I don't really understand what you're trying to achieve here.

You're asking for something excruciatingly painful, long, with a 50% chance of death, but no external physical damage and no risk of permanent disability? That's a contradiction in terms. Most things that cause intense, prolonged pain and have only a partial lethality rate are incredibly risky in the worst ways: they often leave people alive with organ damage, nerve damage, or long term suffering—not in some cinematic "coin flip" scenario, but in months or years of medical hell. Especially when it comes to pills.
Overdoses of things like NSAIDs, paracetamol, antidepressants, or common household drugs often fail to kill, but succeed in causing irreversible liver or kidney failure, seizures, or chronic illness. These aren't graceful exits. They're ER beds, feeding tubes, and a lifetime of complications if you survive. And your chances of being "physically untouched" after a failed attempt are slim to none.
I'm not trying to moralise—I'm pro-choice in the sense that I believe people have the right to decide—but I also believe people deserve to understand what they're asking for. This isn't flipping a coin. It's spinning a roulette wheel where the outcomes are rarely death or survival. They're often something far worse in between.

If what you're looking for is clarity or control over the end, I'd strongly urge you to re-evaluate whether pain, ambiguity, and risk are actually aligned with that goal or if they're a reflection of something else entirely.

 

[probablynotthefirst]

I can almost understand this reasoning. but most, not all, but really most, methods that have a high failure percentage, it's likely there will be consequences to you physically which will require care, which to me is given out of love, but would kind of be antithetical to what you're saying here.

no disrespect meant. we're just trying to understand.

reading everyone's feedback, I realised the 50% is a flaw in my logic so I am removing it.

I put 50% because it was something that just went through my mind at that moment, "betting everything on a last coin-flip".

But my end goal is CTB, so it's counterproductive... From what I gather people here like SN because effective and painless. IG I'm looking for something similar, aside from the painless part?