Venting lonely around people.

[elpurp]

this is only a moment in time and it will pass. but it fucking hurts.

i never realized how much time i spend to myself and it's been like this since middle school. i'm oversheltered, still at my parents' with no license so i'm stuck in my room most of the time, and it's great until it's not.

i just want a partner. i have loads of friends but i want a partner. that seems to be the one thing i can't get, and not from a lack of trying. i'll happily ask out any and everybody i think is pretty and it's always no. fucking always.

i'm over people telling me to love myself. i can do that and still wanna be loved. you just gotta wait and be patient from the same people who can get whoever they want/are already dating somebody, it's infuriating. i'm infuriated at myself.

for believing love is even for me. if i could just tear out that part of my brain, i would've years ago. it's not fucking for me, and i'm so done but i'm so fucking stupid for still trying like anybody wants me. they don't. nobody ever will.

this will prolly get buried. nobody is gonna read this. just venting and yelling out into the ether. i love myself too much to ctb but sometimes i wish i was never born at all.

 

[calebzz1]

I'm sorry that you feel that way.

I also feel stuck, currently an involuntary NEET with no sign of my visual impairment actually improving so I can get back to work, continue to learn how to drive and go back to my old hobbies.

I'm stuck in this limbo of being a young man who is unable to work but not considered disabled in the system despite taking as much initiative as I can.

My advice is to be content in being alone, a lot of people on this site struggle with that.

I've figured out that living with visual impairment is quite isolating, you can't really relate to others as much and a lot of my old hobbies simply are impossible to do.

I have an amazing friend group but because I can't see clearly enough, I'm locked out of playing video games, watching television and movies with them.

I can't give any relationship advice as I haven't been in a real relationship since elementary school and personally I have no desire in getting in one right now due to being a pragmatic, practical person.

I know that rejection would hurt though, try not to take it personally and use that fuel towards something else.

 

[etherealgoddess]

this is only a moment in time and it will pass. but it fucking hurts.

i never realized how much time i spend to myself and it's been like this since middle school. i'm oversheltered, still at my parents' with no license so i'm stuck in my room most of the time, and it's great until it's not.

i just want a partner. i have loads of friends but i want a partner. that seems to be the one thing i can't get, and not from a lack of trying. i'll happily ask out any and everybody i think is pretty and it's always no. fucking always.

i'm over people telling me to love myself. i can do that and still wanna be loved. you just gotta wait and be patient from the same people who can get whoever they want/are already dating somebody, it's infuriating. i'm infuriated at myself.

for believing love is even for me. if i could just tear out that part of my brain, i would've years ago. it's not fucking for me, and i'm so done but i'm so fucking stupid for still trying like anybody wants me. they don't. nobody ever will.

this will prolly get buried. nobody is gonna read this. just venting and yelling out into the ether. i love myself too much to ctb but sometimes i wish i was never born at all.

1) Women usually date people once they get to know them over time. The only guys who can easily pick up girls are the super hot ones. That's like 0.5% of the population. So try to find social groups that regularly meet up and see if there's a girl you like. Stay close to her without talking for a while. Once she feels familiar, it's easier to talk. If it develops over time, it will work. Your strategy sucks because if you're at home, you definitely won't get a girlfriend.

2) Feeling lonely all the time when you're not actually technically lonely is because you're reliving past pain subconsciously. Deal with the old somatic pain. Sit down and feel the pain of your body like a meditation until the memory finally comes out. For me, it's insane but I believe I actually had my dad's trauma embedded in me. I never was lonely as a child, but I felt so lonely my whole life. When I eventually dug into the memory, I realized it wasn't even my memory. It was my dad's. And just FYI, ancestral trauma passes down. It's just not like a proper memory retrieval. It's stores much deeper in your psyche and is more stored in your body instead of your mind like a proper memory.