Venting Little things make me want to die

[gnomeboy17]

A really small thing goes wrong and my brain immediately goes "see, this is a sign you're a fucking waste of space and you should kill yourself"

One time recently, I dropped my change as I was getting on the bus, and most people probably think "oh dear, silly me"
but instead I was thinking "everyone here now absolutely hates you and is really annoyed. You're such an embarrassment and I really hope you finally man up and kill yourself."

I was doing a puzzle just now that my grandma sent me, I couldn't finish it even though my 14 year old cousin did. I just feel so useless all the time and this makes me feel even less normal.

Everytime I feel like this I just really regret not killing myself when I had the chance.


Also, I feel so guilty, whenever someone else achieves something I really hate them for it. Tom Moore raised over 20 million for the NHS and everytime I see the updates about how much he's raised, it just feels like the world is rubbing it in my face being like "look what everyone else is doing while you've been planning your death, something you didn't even achieve" I hate that I can never be proud of people, even friends and family members.

 

[DoNotLet2]

One word: relatable.

 

[gnomeboy17]

The human brain isn't fully developed until 25 years of age. Everything is there except for the frontal cortex, which is the last thing to mature.

An immature frontal cortex explains the spectrum of teenage behaviors: it's what makes adolescents adolescent, says Sapolsky. "The sensation-seeking and the risk-taking; the highs are higher and the lows are lower," he says. Teenagers are more adventurous and more heroic during this time—but can also be more violent and impulsive.

Because your frontal cortex is the last part to develop "it's the part of the brain that is most sculpted by environment and experience—and least constrained by genes," Sapolsky says. That's great news! Your adventure levels, openness, experience, and influences at 25 years old will shape who you are when you're 60.

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Fuck off with your prolife shit. I don't know if you're genuinely trying to help or what but I don't need it. This kind of thing just suggests I'm being overdramatic. How about when I die? Will you take me seriously then and see it's more than just "teenagers"

Ffs most teenagers don't want to kill themselves to the extent I do so don't try and tell me it's normal. This made me so mad why would you do that.