Life is weird.

[bellaisdonewithlife]

I'm just wandering around aimlessly, with various incurable genetic issues and an incurable physical illness, until my body craps out. I'm totally numb while doing so, eating because I have to in order to survive. I'm pretty much just waiting to die. Life is weird.

 

[XXlife]

Yeah, life is weird. I don't do things because they are fun, just to make the time pass by faster or to survive.

 

[randomuser2348]

I'm pretty much just waiting to die. Life is weird.

It's the waiting. Somehow, waiting to die has kept me going. Rather than getting out there and dealing with myself atop a bridge or in a car accident, I've opted to wait. Whenever the time's up, something new takes its place.

Are you waiting for a natural death, or for the appropriate circumstances to CTB?

 

[bellaisdonewithlife]

It's the waiting. Somehow, waiting to die has kept me going. Rather than getting out there and dealing with myself atop a bridge or in a car accident, I've opted to wait. Whenever the time's up, something new takes its place.

Are you waiting for a natural death, or for the appropriate circumstances to CTB?

Well I think not knowing what exactly death is has kept me alive longer because if I'm going to disappear into nothing I should probably try to live as long as I can. I think a continuation of consciousness is more likely now but that there's a chance of nothingness too.

My survival instinct is insanely strong too. I know that probably 2 in 3 people wouldn't survive what I've endured, but I can't stop continuing to fight this. This past week I opened the tabs on my phone to the items I'd need from a store near me to carbon monoxide out of here, and I keep those tabs open.

Am I gonna act on it? I don't know, unless one day I have enough of all this and feel a need to act on it. If I had a partner I might carbon monoxide out of here though.

 

[rainbowpuker]

Weird as fuck , what even is this , we are in a rock blasting through space . Like bacteria in a Petri dish or ants walking along concrete doing whatever there doing and we are just doing it , I for one am miserable , but I also see the beauty in what even this is but along with that my experience and mental health feel are going to push me ! Is uk seems to be getting dsl welfare checks , fentanyl I may look for now dark net , im very aware im just like that ant or bacteria in grand scheme of things , of what even is this , simulation ? Game ? Just bored now

 

[Chito and Yuuri]

I wish you peace my bro, may your health get better or may you find peace through other ways.

 

[Painforever]

Yup, i was suicidal before. But now my body is being fucked up. I have got to go sometime soon,