Life is so boring

[Darkover]

It's soooo fucking dull! I'm sick of it!
Yes, I am depressed, but I can look at things objectively, ignoring the prism of my mental illness.
I would want to die, even if I wasn't depressed and suicidal!
All I feel is boredom.
There are fine, happy moments in my life, but it's mostly miserably monotonous!
I've come to a conclusion that life is waiting for happy moments in between of the fucking dullness! In between of the boredom, of the fucked up and awful, sad moments!
Yes, exiting moments appear throughout life occasionally, but I refuse this kind of life!
I don't accept this kind of existence!

Every single day feels the same. I have zero friends. I don't go out. I don't even enjoy playing video games anymore. Food taste bland. Everything is a chore. I just sit in bed all day binging youtube and scrolling through sasu. I'm 37 and it already feels like I'm 80. I'm just so bored of life. I just don't see how I can do this any longer. Nothing is exciting. There's absolutely nothing to look forward to. It's like life just stopped being interesting all together after 30

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think this is an inevitable consequence of having the ability to be conscious and aware, I also see existing as being dull, futile and meaningless, I see existing as being nothing more than just waiting around to die, to me there could never be anything appealing about something so dreadful as existing. I've only ever desired the eternity of non-existence, eternal sleep will always be preferable to me than decaying from age in an existence I never even wished to endure in the first place.

 

[Darkover]

Go on a good old ghost hunt with Richard Felix, God he's on your doorstep man..

the thrilling world of ghost hunting would not interest me, for one i don't believe in the supernatural ghost are make believe, i've not had any friends for 10 years all i do everyday is stay in bed for the most part on the internet reading this forum or listening to music on youtube

 

[Darkover]

It's all about the storytelling, I'm very much on the fence myself. That's a long time lonely indeed. Would you want new friends or are you more interested in ending it all now either way?

some friends would be nice but there's little chance i can find any plus i am planning on ending it soon