Venting Constantly overwhelmed

[Insomniac Butterfly]

I'm venting silly things again for a reason I don't understand. I feel bad for taking up anyone's time to read my ruminations.

I usually can't ever properly explain myself, but I'm trying my best.
These days, it feels like the only emotion I can truly express is being overwhelmed. I'm just getting through each day, even those moments that should bring joy. I'm in a constant state of panic and frustration, desperate to escape the present. I'm always rushing to escape the moment. Every little inconvenience serves as a harsh reminder I'm going nowhere and has me ready to curl up on the floor. Where is my passion? I miss caring about art and literature. What happened to my ability to just be in the moment? I can't even seem to enjoy music anymore.

How much more isolation, stagnation, and shame can I bear? I feel so lonely, and I don't want to be in this place anymore. Nothing seems to help. Connecting with others feels impossible, and my mind often berates me for even trying.
I know I'll never be able to live independently or provide for myself. It feels like I'll never drive, never find happiness within me. Accepting everything I've missed out on is so hard. I struggle to see how I can create or contribute anything to this world. Everything feels stuck, and so do I. Everyone else seems to have moved on.



I don't know

I feel I'm about to cry, but the feeling is so far away in a way that makes it seem like I'm just imagining it.

I don't want to be a burden, but I'm too much of a baby to end things without SN

I don't feel real. I don't believe myself.


All I really want is to be free from experiencing life as me.
I'm tired of it all...

 

[likeacatinthedark]

I really truly understand
it's an exhaustion that never goes away

 

[v0wkeeper]

a never ending cycle of misery.