I am 32 year old gay man. Life just revolves around work. I am in India where the working laws are very lax so the companies can exploit employees. But even when I was in a good company, and I had sufficient income it still didn't feel like how it felt before. I lost my prime years to poverty and mental illness. My mental illness is getting better and I earn okay. But life just doesn't seem same anymore. I no longer have that zeal, that hope , that optimism and most importantly dreams. I no longer have a dream, cause I don't know what I want from life. I feel like a rudderless boat.
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soonatpeace777888
Specialist
- Jul 4, 2023
- 388
Apathy79
Paragon
- Oct 13, 2019
- 915
Gee I hope 32 is still "prime years". I'm still trying to convince myself I'm in my prime years at 46!
As for not knowing what you want from life, does anyone really know? I don't know, maybe they do. Starting a family seems to give a lot of people purpose. Trying to help others/animals/environment/the world in some way. Creating something that will endure beyond you. Striving for enlightenment. A lot of it seems to be about the switch from your own survival to what you can do for others. But I guess only you will be able to find the answer for you.Ooohhh....hand goes up - as a 60 year old I can answer. I was still working on my career in my 30's so that kept me occupied, perhaps not "enthused" all the time but I had enough upon which to focus to get me out of bed in the morning. Then I met my wife in my early 40's and had our first/only child at 45. Frankly, having our daughter probably saved my life. I was still depressed and CTB was always in the back of my mind due to financial reasons; with a healthy life insurance policy and investments and real estate that would vest to my wife and daughter on a very tax advantageous basis, sometimes it made more sense for me not to be here.
But even after 15 years of her being around, my wife and I still look at our daughter and get amazed how we hit the kid jackpot. So, that is keeping me here.
Then there are the plans for the future. As I've mentioned in previous posts, my daughter is nationally ranked in a sport that turns out to be rivaled only by F1 racing for expense. So, that is keeping me working and looking ways for help her to ascend to the next level. But always in the back of my mind, lurking in the shadows like a little creeper watching me, is my "dark passenger" (I loved Dexter), but the only difference is that I'm the target.
So, find a purpose if you can. Our family still makes donations to various charities - 90% animal related. That has also provided some reason for getting up and going to work. Essentially, I find the more I can give to others, the less I'm aware of my little creeper.
Apathy79 is absolutely correct that only you can find the answer. So, get out there and start exploring. I know the most valulable commodity is time and you definitely have that.Similar threads
