Less than one week until I CTB

[Zoltiel]

If my method arrives this week, I'll be CTB in a hotel room this Sunday. I feel a little anxious sometimes, but am more excited and relieved than anything. I've been thinking a lot about all the stuff that went down and what to put in my note. I think the memories that hurt the most are when I sabotaged myself with stupid decisions. After being mad at things that were out of my control, I finally let it all go and forgave everyone and accepted responsibility for everything. I am now at peace with the fact that this experience is going to end soon.

 

[TAW122]

I hope you are able to get your method and may your (potential) last few days of conscious be days of peace and tranquility.

 

[Verklempt]

I wish you the best of luck! I hope everything goes according to your plan and that there won't be any interference. -hugs- Safe travels.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

After being mad at things that were out of my control, I finally let it all go and forgave everyone and accepted responsibility for everything.

Please forgive yourself, too. It may not matter in the end, but why carry that grief as you pass into peace?

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

I hope you find the relief you are looking for

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Peace and safe journey

 

[Zoltiel]

Please forgive yourself, too. It may not matter in the end, but why carry that grief as you pass into peace?

Yes, I'm working on that as well

 

[Time]

I'm sorry that life has brought you to this but, if you choose to ctb, I hope that you find peace, Zoltiel. Either way, we're here for you.

Side note: I can really identify with your words, really well said.

 

[Zoltiel]

I'm sorry that life has brought you to this but, if you choose to ctb, I hope that you find peace, Zoltiel. Either way, we're here for you.

Side note: I can really identify with your words, really well said.

Thank you :)

 

[Ghost2211]

It is good to hear you are approaching your chosen path with forgiveness and peace. I look forward to continuing to get to know you on the potential last week of your journey.

 

[easywayout]

Good luck.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish for you peace.

 

[randomz]

Becoming in peace with yourself and your past decisions is probably the most important thing a person could do in their entire life. I salute you for that @Zoltiel. I really hope that whatever you decide to do from now on will bring you only true happiness. That being said, knowing who and what you are does give you a different prespective in life. Don't you think there is a way to use that perspective in order to keep on living and see what else can you do to make yourself feel better?

 

[MsMaudlin]

I'm sorry that all those things happened to you.

Sending you love and strength for your journey ahead.

I'm here for you, as we all are.

Love and peace ❤

 

[AlreadyGone]

Good luck. Hope it works out for you.

 

[NaNo210]

You shared about letting go of everything on the topic I made not too long ago, I appreciated it. I understand the weight that gets lifted off of us when we can finally let go knowing it'll be over soon.

I hope whatever happens this next week, that you continue to find peace

 

[Lostandfound7]

Hoping u find even more peace and love in ur final week..I am here for u honey.

 

[Zoltiel]

Becoming in peace with yourself and your past decisions is probably the most important thing a person could do in their entire life. I salute you for that @Zoltiel. I really hope that whatever you decide to do from now on will bring you only true happiness. That being said, knowing who and what you are does give you a different prespective in life. Don't you think there is a way to use that perspective in order to keep on living and see what else can you do to make yourself feel better?

Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes I do think about what if I keep on living, and I get terrified. I'm too far gone and am too mentally unstable to continue living a normal life. Looking back on everything from 29 years old, I see that in reality there was never any hope for me. Too much was determined by things completely out of my control, like genetics, family, environment, etc. It's sad but it's the way it is, I'm just thankful that I found this site in time.

 

[randomz]

Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes I do think about what if I keep on living, and I get terrified. I'm too far gone and am too mentally unstable to continue living a normal life. Looking back on everything from 29 years old, I see that in reality there was never any hope for me. Too much was determined by things completely out of my control, like genetics, family, environment, etc. It's sad but it's the way it is, I'm just thankful that I found this site in time.

I know what you mean. I also feel that way for my past 26 years. As far as living normal life goes though - I don't think we, as obviously people with problems, should focus on leading "normal" lives to be happy. You can make your own life in which you will be happy. You don't have to look up to other people's lives especially since they don't deal with what you are dealing.

You got this far, maybe you can push just a little bit more just to see what happens next - Life does contain happy surprises that could occur at any momment for any of us. That's what I tell to myself during my heavy depressve episodes (one of which I have been having for the past few days).

 

[Backwood_tilt]

You can make your own life in which you will be happy. You don't have to look up to other people's lives especially since they don't deal with what you are dealing.

You got this far, maybe you can push just a little bit more just to see what happens next - Life does contain happy surprises that could occur at any momment for any of us.

I agree with all of this.

I also agree with the position that some things are so bad, some circumstances so awful, that waiting around for good fortune to finally bless you is not worth the effort.

Some times a sad story is just that - a sad story.

 

[Egddios]

Thinking of you, Z, and hoping each day weighs less heavy. I won't be too far behind you

 

[Innereye]

Here to talk if you are ever keen.