Leaving SO

[tarjebie]

Is anyone else here leaving a partner and feeling guilty about it? We've been together for 8 years and he's really good to me. I'm going to ctb because I have chronic pain major depression and anxiety. I don't want to live like this

 

[CantDoIt]

Is anyone else here leaving a partner and feeling guilty about it? We've been together for 8 years and he's really good to me. I'm going to ctb because I have chronic pain major depression and anxiety. I don't want to live like this

I am going to be leaving a partner of about the same amount. I have too many mental disorders and too many regrets / mistakes I've made. Not being able to think about those things is preferable to having a life where I am constantly forced to confront them.

 

[tarjebie]

I am going to be leaving a partner of about the same amount. I have too many mental disorders and too many regrets / mistakes I've made. Not being able to think about those things is preferable to having a life where I am constantly forced to confront them.

Thanks for the reply. I'm sorry you're going through all that. I can relate. I've made plant of mistakes too and have no way to fix them.

 

[CantDoIt]

I'm also sorry you'll leave your partner. My partner knows how I feel and when I try to break up or agree that we should, he resists. My partner is very emotional and sensitive and this ordeal with me has affected his health and appearance, but he still holds on that we could have a dream life together where it's happily ever after. He feels as though he should've been able to make me happy and take care of me (what he promised to do) and fulfill the dreams we had when I was well. It makes me feel trapped, upset, strange, hopeless, all of these emotions.
I wish to pretend that I'm well until my moment comes but it's difficult.

 

[Davey40210]

Is anyone else here leaving a partner and feeling guilty about it? We've been together for 8 years and he's really good to me. I'm going to ctb because I have chronic pain major depression and anxiety. I don't want to live like this

I assume you already have, but please tell your partner. If you really care about them, give them a chance to change your mind or otherwise say goodbye.

 

[tarjebie]

I'm also sorry you'll leave your partner. My partner knows how I feel and when I try to break up or agree that we should, he resists. My partner is very emotional and sensitive and this ordeal with me has affected his health and appearance, but he still holds on that we could have a dream life together where it's happily ever after. He feels as though he should've been able to make me happy and take care of me (what he promised to do) and fulfill the dreams we had when I was well. It makes me feel trapped, upset, strange, hopeless, all of these emotions.
I wish to pretend that I'm well until my moment comes but it's difficult.

That sounds awful. It must be very hard to see the effect it's having on your partner. There's really nothing anyone can say to bring you to a happy life. My partner knows I've wanted to leave, but he seems to think it'll pass and we'll be happy. I can't remember the last time I felt happy. It has nothing to do with him. I love him as much as I can. The guilt of leaving him is the only thing keeping me here. I haven't tried to break up with him. We've lived together for 8 years, so that would just be another upheaval to go through. I really wish I were single.

 

[dela]

Is anyone else here leaving a partner and feeling guilty about it?

I'm also leaving my partner. We've been together for 5 years, and she's the only reason I kept going so long. I'm generally in peace with dying, but the thought of leaving her still makes me really guilty. Part of me still wants to live to be with her. I feel happy thinking about our future together. But I've made too many mistakes that can't be fixed, and I have been living with manic depression for too long. I really wish I could go back in time and do things differently. I don't necessarily want to die, but I just can't live like this.

Leaving her is the hardest thing I'm ever going to do. She knows I am suicidal, and we've talked about it quite a few times, but I'm sure she doesn't expect me to go so soon. The thought of her alone and mourning me and makes me devastated. I love her so much, and I know she loves me and she needs me, so why is it that I can't stand existing in this world? Sometimes I wish that the last few years were all just a bad dream, and that I would wake up in a time where I could still fix things and live my dream life with her. I know it's silly, but it's strangely comforting. The only other thing that makes me comfortable is knowing that if that isn't the case, at least I won't exist to think about any of this anymore.

 

[tarjebie]

I'm also leaving my partner. We've been together for 5 years, and she's the only reason I kept going so long. I'm generally in peace with dying, but the thought of leaving her still makes me really guilty. Part of me still wants to live to be with her. I feel happy thinking about our future together. But I've made too many mistakes that can't be fixed, and I have been living with manic depression for too long. I really wish I could go back in time and do things differently. I don't necessarily want to die, but I just can't live like this.

Leaving her is the hardest thing I'm ever going to do. She knows I am suicidal, and we've talked about it quite a few times, but I'm sure she doesn't expect me to go so soon. The thought of her alone and mourning me and makes me devastated. I love her so much, and I know she loves me and she needs me, so why is it that I can't stand existing in this world? Sometimes I wish that the last few years were all just a bad dream, and that I would wake up in a time where I could still fix things and live my dream life with her. I know it's silly, but it's strangely comforting. The only other thing that makes me comfortable is knowing that if that isn't the case, at least I won't exist to think about any of this anymore.

Going back in time to fix my mistakes sounds wonderful. I wish see could do that.

 

[badK9wolf]

my partner will lose the apartment if i do anything to myself unless she gets help from her family. i don't want her or our cats to suffer. but i don't know what to do.

 

[tarjebie]

my partner will lose the apartment if i do anything to myself unless she gets help from her family. i don't want her or our cats to suffer. but i don't know what to do.

Yeah, I'm in the same boat. My partner won't be able to pay rent and I don't know what would happen with our cats. I think it would destroy my partner but I don't see another way out of a bad situation.