Leaving my abuser

[nerve]

I don't have anything clever to add but being somebody stuck in a shitty relationship and too scared to actually leave, Im rooting for you. After long enough, "leaving" starts to feel more like this imaginary fairy tale thing than an actual option so it's a nice slap in the face to be reminded that sometimes people do try it

 

[TheQ22]

In my experience on one side it feels like a huge weights been lifted when you get away from them, on the other are fears of getting it wrong, missing them, then the anxiety and panicky feelings start.

It takes some getting used to, but a leopard wont change it's spots, so if they are abusive they will continue to be abusive if you go back.

I've read and believe it to be true that the core reason they behave like they do and make you feel like shit is so you daren't leave them - because they are terrified of being abandoned, so they kind of try to terrorise you into staying with them.

They might cry and apologise but if you go back they'll be doing the same things again because they are driven to it and can't help themselves.

 

[Ghost2211]

In my experience once you leave, then return when they seem like they have changed and will be nice, that is when the REAL abuse happens. Do not ever go back or you will get it even worse than you could imagine.

That gave me chills, very true.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I hope it gets better for you.

 

[RicRac]

You made the right decision, it's going to be painful for a while but think about your future. I hope you'll be ok in every way. :)

 

[muffin222]

Please stay strong and don't doubt yourself leaving an abuser is one of the hardest decisions a person can make, imo. You can't fully grasp the courage and strength required to break free until you've been there yourself. I'm not going to lie to you- you will probably linger in a state of confusion and emotional turmoil for a little while at least, even if you intellectually recognize that you made the right choice. It'll probably get worse before it gets better, but you WILL get through this a stronger, wiser, and more self-assured person on the other side

 

[woxihuanni]

What kind of abuse specifically? If he was physically abusing you, you should also report him to law enforcement, there should be no free pass for those people.

What I'm wondering is why there should be a free pass if it is not physical? How many people are there here whose present and past abuse have brought them here? Just kidding, of course they will murder us and keep having fun. Might is right apparently.

 

[kcn2020]

What I'm wondering is why there should be a free pass if it is not physical? How many people are there here whose present and past abuse have brought them here? Just kidding, of course they will murder us and keep having fun. Might is right apparently.

I wasn't saying that emotional abuse is in any way less serious than physical abuse, it's your interpretation. The society doesn't recognize emotional abuse as seriously compared to physical abuse, but for the latter, you can use the law to protect yourself and fight back your abuser. The "there should be no free pass" expression refers to the fact that if you can use the law at your advantage, you shouldn't give your abuser a favor by refusing to prosecute him.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Just to give you guys an update. Everything ended up going on hold as my mother was hospitalised and I needed to go to hers first. So I'm still in my shitty situation but I've left half my stuff in the car still to keep me motivated for when I can make another attempt at leaving. Hopefully it'll be within the next week or 2 once my mother has recovered. Thanks for all the messages on here. Its been such lovely support

 

[bravotess]

Just to give you guys an update. Everything ended up going on hold as my mother was hospitalised and I needed to go to hers first. So I'm still in my shitty situation but I've left half my stuff in the car still to keep me motivated for when I can make another attempt at leaving. Hopefully it'll be within the next week or 2 once my mother has recovered. Thanks for all the messages on here. Its been such lovely support ❤

Thanks for the update. I've been wondering how you're doing! I'm sorry about your mom. Hope she recovers quickly and I hope you stay safe in the meantime.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

You're still at your mom's, or you returned to your ex?