Knowing everything i know now i would have killed myself at 18

[FireFox]

I am 24 but knowing everything i know now i would have killed myself at 18.

If a time traveller told me as a teenager that I will grow up to still be living my parents, still a vrigin single female, unemployed and a just a failure I would have killed myself all these years ago.

I am so disappointed when I wanted to leave school I wanted to do so much with my life . I wanted a career in making the world a better place, travelling, a man who loved me, being independent and just having fun. Everyone around me is successful and i am not. Seeing my classmates having stable jobs and exciting lives I am a failure

Sucide is much better than living the life I currently have. It is never getting better. I will never a job , meet a guy who loves me and have it all together as you're expected when you reach adulthood.
My life actually over

 

[Foreversad]

Ι would have already be dead too .and guess what even if they dont give a fuck theu just mess at the point of stopping us from suicide not a single crap what we do after or before it

 

[insanedoomer]

Same here ..23yo M , Job is a daily trap + world is a constant pain .

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I am so sorry life has led you in this direction. Life is definitely unfair. It's frustrating. I'm sorry you haven't accomplished what you wanted. I too feel the same, it's an awful experience and awful memories I do not desire this.

I will never move out of my parents house. I will work my dream job, I'll never be pretty, I'll never find a husband. I'm just miserable, I was taken advantage by 3 guys and I hate myself for it. And permanent acne condition ruined my life. And then people want me to suffer and continue in PAIN for what?

 

[TooConscious]

We all struggle with this buddy as it means it wouldn't have to be "us" that ctbs taking the difficult part out. I felt sure enough at 18 but dragged on over a decade and find myself resentful that all the suffering was for nothing, I never had one day I was happy any fleeting moments of pleasure we're soon over eared by suffering and misery.
And I imagine being here in ten years time with the same story, only now over two decades, will I let it get that bad? Who knows.

 

[logan]

Life is very rarely "perfect".
Others also have their problems - even if it often doesn't look that way from the outside ...

If you succeed in finding a job, you may have many new positive experiences that make your life worth living.

 

[Mr2005]

I am 24 but knowing everything i know now i would have killed myself at 18.

If a time traveller told me as a teenager that I will grow up to still be living my parents, still a vrigin single female, unemployed and a just a failure I would have killed myself all these years ago.

I am so disappointed when I wanted to leave school I wanted to do so much with my life . I wanted a career in making the world a better place, travelling, a man who loved me, being independent and just having fun. Everyone around me is successful and i am not. Seeing my classmates having stable jobs and exciting lives I am a failure

Sucide is much better than living the life I currently have. It is never getting better. I will never a job , meet a guy who loves me and have it all together as you're expected when you reach adulthood.
My life actually over

You have ten years on me to do all that. I'd wait until you're 30, I did

 

[FireFox]

You have ten years on me to do all that. I'd wait until you're 30, I did

What happened when you reached 30?

 

[Mr2005]

What happened when you reached 30?

I'm a bad example

 

[Superdeterminist]

Same for me, this life has been a series of failed expectations, while seeing others take off into the distance of the marathon of life, while I lag so far behind. So done with the humiliation of it all.

 

[Insomniac]

Life has taught me to always expect the worse and to mentally prepare.

 

[VicMackey]

I am 24 but knowing everything i know now i would have killed myself at 18.

If a time traveller told me as a teenager that I will grow up to still be living my parents, still a vrigin single female, unemployed and a just a failure I would have killed myself all these years ago.

I am so disappointed when I wanted to leave school I wanted to do so much with my life . I wanted a career in making the world a better place, travelling, a man who loved me, being independent and just having fun. Everyone around me is successful and i am not. Seeing my classmates having stable jobs and exciting lives I am a failure

Sucide is much better than living the life I currently have. It is never getting better. I will never a job , meet a guy who loves me and have it all together as you're expected when you reach adulthood.
My life actually over

Now that ive read your post and thought about it, i agree with you for my situation also.

 

[lofticries]

14 or 15 mos def for me. Maybe 11 or 12 since that was the time in which I thought I would go to another dimension in the universe if I died. I was really really really bored at that time.

 

[FuneralCry]

Living really can be painful. I have dread for my future and I feel like I should have left this earth a long time ago. This life was never meant for me and I wish I was never born honestly. I'm sorry that life has been cruel to you, it can be a hopeless feeling when we are unable to achieve what we want.

 

[contemplatingjaahil]

Same honestly. I wish I did it when I was first depressed @ 14

 

[peacetoall]

I am 24 but knowing everything i know now i would have killed myself at 18.

If a time traveller told me as a teenager that I will grow up to still be living my parents, still a vrigin single female, unemployed and a just a failure I would have killed myself all these years ago.

I am so disappointed when I wanted to leave school I wanted to do so much with my life . I wanted a career in making the world a better place, travelling, a man who loved me, being independent and just having fun. Everyone around me is successful and i am not. Seeing my classmates having stable jobs and exciting lives I am a failure

Sucide is much better than living the life I currently have. It is never getting better. I will never a job , meet a guy who loves me and have it all together as you're expected when you reach adulthood.
My life actually over

Stop this thinking. It is not too late to do all the things you want. You're so young. Stop comparing yourself to others, we all move forward at a different pace and there is no shame in that. Wipe the slate clean and start making tiny steps forward.

 

[Dear Agony]

I'm in the exact same position, except not a virgin, but those I had sex with, I was used as a sex toy and didn't enjoy it at all or keep contact with those people. Not one of them loved me.
I would have honestly done it at 12 if I knew all this would happen, aka the year of my life I first seriously considered suicide. I'm also unemployed, not functional, just spend all day doing nothing at home and the thought of a job now disgusts me. I just want all this to be over already. Worst of all is that I'm a burden to my parents, with the money and mental health situation. They've spent so much trying to fix my broken mind. I can't wait until I'm not a problem for them anymore.

 

[ihatemylife]

I am 24 but knowing everything i know now i would have killed myself at 18.

If a time traveller told me as a teenager that I will grow up to still be living my parents, still a vrigin single female, unemployed and a just a failure I would have killed myself all these years ago.

I am so disappointed when I wanted to leave school I wanted to do so much with my life . I wanted a career in making the world a better place, travelling, a man who loved me, being independent and just having fun. Everyone around me is successful and i am not. Seeing my classmates having stable jobs and exciting lives I am a failure

Sucide is much better than living the life I currently have. It is never getting better. I will never a job , meet a guy who loves me and have it all together as you're expected when you reach adulthood.
My life actually over

I am 24 but knowing everything i know now i would have killed myself at 18.

If a time traveller told me as a teenager that I will grow up to still be living my parents, still a vrigin single female, unemployed and a just a failure I would have killed myself all these years ago.

I am so disappointed when I wanted to leave school I wanted to do so much with my life . I wanted a career in making the world a better place, travelling, a man who loved me, being independent and just having fun. Everyone around me is successful and i am not. Seeing my classmates having stable jobs and exciting lives I am a failure

Sucide is much better than living the life I currently have. It is never getting better. I will never a job , meet a guy who loves me and have it all together as you're expected when you reach adulthood.
My life actually over

You are still very young at 24. If the things you mentioned would make you happy and fulfilled as long as you have your mental and physical health they can all still be a possibility.

 

[miserableforever]

You're still very young and have time to do all of that, assuming you're healthy. Don't give up and give life another chance.

 

[ClownMe]

If I could go back in time I would have killed myself around 15-16.

 

[Darkover]

i too would of lefted life behind at 18 had i known nobody was ever going to love me again, i did have one lover for 2 and half years between 16 and 18 that was the best years of my life i am now 35 years old i've not had sex for 17 years and from our relationship we had a son, i never seen him after we split apart my world turned up side down because of the relationship ending i endup descending into madness and became a schizophrenic i've never been able to work never had a job i didn't go to school never got any gcse to be honest i felt i'll never get over the hurt of losing someone i loved i could never trust someone again i was turned off by life and regretted bring another person into the world that's my biggest mistake is having a child, losing someone you love hurts like hell but it's better to of loved then not loved at all, my experience is life doesn't get better with time just worse and there's no point in living a miserable life there no resaon to stay living to just prolonging a misery in this hellhole, absolutely shit awful life enslaved in awful shit in a shithole all forced in and forced out without any choice in the matter.

 

[Under The Graveyard]

Out of everything that came with directions, life didnt. I hate life.