Venting Just tired

[Caspers]

I'm just so tired of life, of this world. I wish I could leave

 

[WornOutLife]

I wish I could leave too, mate.
Hope we get the guts to CTB and find peace soon.

 

[TrailerTrash]

Second that ...... but since my method is ready all I'm doing is fixing up a few loose ends. Trying to figure out if it can be finished soon enough to not be around the Holidays ...... if not, I'm going to hit it in January. I want all the paper work in place and everything easy for family ....

 

[Cakes]

Same here, pal. Just wish I had access to SN etc. Or hanging. I don't know :/

 

[ecmnesia]

same

 

[Cakes]

@TrailerTrash Can I ask what is your method? If that's okay!

 

[Caspers]

Wow I didn't know so many people feel this way. I even have SN and most of what's needed for it, but no balls so far. I guess I'm not ready although I feel ready

 

[TrailerTrash]

You'll know if/when you're ready:

Stage 1 is the "ideation" stage, during which a depressed person finds him/herself thinking about suicide more and more. However, the fear of suicide still outweighs its attraction. Therefore, the person may be thinking dark thoughts ("my family would be better off without me"), obsessing over dark music (i.e., playing the same depressing song over and over again), or expressing thoughts of death, suicide, pain, and hopelessness through artistic expression, but has not yet begun to formulate a specific plan. People in Stage 1 are not imminently lethal, even though many are involuntarily hospitalized for expressing thoughts of suicide in this stage.

Stage 2 is the "planning" stage, during which the person's dark thoughts begin to turn to formulating a specific plan for suicide. Friends and family may notice the person's depression worsening, and observe their loved one begin to withdraw from touching others or from being touched by others, or they may stop verbalizing their pain and suffering while seeming to be in more pain than ever. Stage 2 rarely lasts longer than several months because it is a very psychologically painful place to be. The person feels compelled to make a decision to suicide (thus moving into Stage 3) or not to suicide at that time; a decision that most people do not discuss with loved ones and often wrestle with in isolation.

Stage 3 begins when the suicidal person makes the decision to suicide. The moment the decision is made, it goes "unconscious" and the person goes on what we call "auto-pilot." People in Stage 3 are imminently lethal; however, they seem more "normal" than they have seemed in a long time. At this point, the depression seems to suddenly lift because the person has made the decision to die and is no longer wrestling with the decision.

I am a Stage 3

 

[Caspers]

You'll know if/when you're ready:

Stage 1 is the "ideation" stage, during which a depressed person finds him/herself thinking about suicide more and more. However, the fear of suicide still outweighs its attraction. Therefore, the person may be thinking dark thoughts ("my family would be better off without me"), obsessing over dark music (i.e., playing the same depressing song over and over again), or expressing thoughts of death, suicide, pain, and hopelessness through artistic expression, but has not yet begun to formulate a specific plan. People in Stage 1 are not imminently lethal, even though many are involuntarily hospitalized for expressing thoughts of suicide in this stage.

Stage 2 is the "planning" stage, during which the person's dark thoughts begin to turn to formulating a specific plan for suicide. Friends and family may notice the person's depression worsening, and observe their loved one begin to withdraw from touching others or from being touched by others, or they may stop verbalizing their pain and suffering while seeming to be in more pain than ever. Stage 2 rarely lasts longer than several months because it is a very psychologically painful place to be. The person feels compelled to make a decision to suicide (thus moving into Stage 3) or not to suicide at that time; a decision that most people do not discuss with loved ones and often wrestle with in isolation.

Stage 3 begins when the suicidal person makes the decision to suicide. The moment the decision is made, it goes "unconscious" and the person goes on what we call "auto-pilot." People in Stage 3 are imminently lethal; however, they seem more "normal" than they have seemed in a long time. At this point, the depression seems to suddenly lift because the person has made the decision to die and is no longer wrestling with the decision.

I am a Stage 3

Interesting information, thanks for sharing. I remember finally getting my SN and being in a state of euphoria. I was at 3 then, but have been demoted to 2 as I am overthinking a lot of things. You've explained why I temporarily felt healed from my troubles when I had my exit kit in my hand

 

[wanttodie]

I wish I could leave too

 

[massiveblackhole]

You'll know if/when you're ready:

Stage 1 is the "ideation" stage, during which a depressed person finds him/herself thinking about suicide more and more. However, the fear of suicide still outweighs its attraction. Therefore, the person may be thinking dark thoughts ("my family would be better off without me"), obsessing over dark music (i.e., playing the same depressing song over and over again), or expressing thoughts of death, suicide, pain, and hopelessness through artistic expression, but has not yet begun to formulate a specific plan. People in Stage 1 are not imminently lethal, even though many are involuntarily hospitalized for expressing thoughts of suicide in this stage.

Stage 2 is the "planning" stage, during which the person's dark thoughts begin to turn to formulating a specific plan for suicide. Friends and family may notice the person's depression worsening, and observe their loved one begin to withdraw from touching others or from being touched by others, or they may stop verbalizing their pain and suffering while seeming to be in more pain than ever. Stage 2 rarely lasts longer than several months because it is a very psychologically painful place to be. The person feels compelled to make a decision to suicide (thus moving into Stage 3) or not to suicide at that time; a decision that most people do not discuss with loved ones and often wrestle with in isolation.

Stage 3 begins when the suicidal person makes the decision to suicide. The moment the decision is made, it goes "unconscious" and the person goes on what we call "auto-pilot." People in Stage 3 are imminently lethal; however, they seem more "normal" than they have seemed in a long time. At this point, the depression seems to suddenly lift because the person has made the decision to die and is no longer wrestling with the decision.

I am a Stage 3

Thanks for posting this. I wish i was at stage 3. actually i just wish i was dead. its so exhausting/depressing being in this state of hating life and wanting to die but not quite being at the stage where you have the balls to do so. I want to get better or be dead - not this miserable in-between state of non-existence. But nothing iv tried has helped me get better

 

[Gnip]

Thanks to lifelong obstructive sleep apnea, I have always been tired, in a permanent foggy haze.

 

[Meditation guide]

Stage 3 begins when the suicidal person makes the decision to suicide.

And after that isn't there another stage of figuring out how and when to do it? Most difficult of all for some.

 

[plough22]

I'm just so tired of life, of this world. I wish I could leave

I feel that there is a lot of us who feels the same way. I am tired of waking up, feeling shit and heavy headed. I just want to fund that impulse or that one more that will send me over the edge.

 

[Dead beat dad]

I'm just so tired of life, of this world. I wish I could leave

Feel this brother

 

[itachi of death]

I hate this life and this world i wish I had a gun or the courage to end it

 

[StuFin]

It's a shame there isn't a pill you can take that just puts you to sleep and lets you drift off peacefully in your slumber.

Every method seems to require a build up of gathering items or lots of preparation, lots of overcoming the obstacles of SI, and then a final big push to take that final step.

It's exhausting. And disappointing if you can't bring yourself to do it. Then you feel even worse.