my first post

[emptyvoid]

this is my first post on here, i've been watching from the sidelines for almost a year, i haven't responded to anyone.

there's no point in talking about myself because it doesn't matter.

i just want to know how i can kill myself as fast and as painless as possible.

i don't want to watch from the sidelines anymore. i'm tired of almost killing myself. i'm tired of hospitals. i'm tired of explaining over and over. i just want to end my life. please help me.

i hope this is my breaking point. 10 years of suicidal thoughts. 5 years of attempts . i just want it to be over. please. please. please.

 

[Trav1989]

Wow, uh... I get life sucks but if your posting stuff like this your emotions are likely taking the wheel. To CTB you need to be at peace with your decision and embrace emptiness wholeheartedly. I highly suggest not jumping too far off the deep end when your already there because such is a moot point.
Sorry if I came off too harsh but you need to make certain that you are of sound mind and accepting that life will not change. If so then there are many posts referencing CTB methods you can partake in and you can learn a lot but seeing as you've been lurking I'm sure you know of them.

Which leads me to believe that you already know your answer.

 

[emptyvoid]

Wow, uh... I get life sucks but if your posting stuff like this your emotions are likely taking the wheel. To CTB you need to be at peace with your decision and embrace emptiness wholeheartedly. I highly suggest not jumping too far off the deep end when your already there because such is a moot point.
Sorry if I came off too harsh but you need to make certain that you are of sound mind and accepting that life will not change. If so then there are many posts referencing CTB methods you can partake in and you can learn a lot but seeing as you've been lurking I'm sure you know of them.

Which leads me to believe that you already know your answer.

not too harsh. thank you for responding. i know what to do, and i plan on doing so in the morning. trying to have one final night with my pets and the thoughts caused me to come post here. i think maybe i just wanted someone to know. Anyone. before i leave no note and just go. a trace of my existence. i just wanted to let that last breath of hopelessness out. i'm about to go to sleep. thank you for responding again.

 

[Trav1989]

I wish you peace in whatever you decide, I am here if you wish to talk of life, methods to CTB, or anything else and promise not to judge you as I've never been through your experiences or struggles that came from such.

 

[SVEN]

You're being heard and understood. Every good wish in finding peace and rest, by whatever means.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I just wish for peace as well, to me it just feels so cruel how I cannot just easily die in a painless way. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you find what you search for.