UPDATE: Ok, after that last round of vomiting I was finally able to sleep calmly. Woke up without any symptoms, I feel a bit shaken because of the vomiting and the stress, but I don't feel dizzy or anything. I'm eating an apple and drinking some hydrating electrolyte drink. Jamaica flower flavor. I MUST EMPHASIZE ON THE FACT I TOOK A RIDICULOUSLY LOW AMOUNT OF SN AND EVEN THAT HAD AN IMMEDIATE AND PRONOUNCED EFFECT.
We all know ourselves why we're in this site and nobody can judge. The purpose of this safe haven is to share information and experiences so others will avoid making mistakes that could be easily avoided. This is one such mistake based on the false impression that "a little" SN doesn't kill you. LESS SN DOESN'T MEAN LESS LETHALITY, IT'S LETHAL IN ANY DOSE. IT'LL ONLY MAKE FOR AN UNCOMFORTABLE EXPERIENCE, SPECIALLY WITHOUT FOLLOWING PROPER PROTOCOL
Emotionally I feel...well, honestly, a bit fucked. I feel a bit less sure about SN as a method, but it's the best one I have available. It has made me question myself though I still feel trapped and emotionally broken without really any will to keep going for anything more than a couple of months. I just feel...pathetic. Gotta respect those who ctb using this without benzos, I can only imagine now the tremendous amount of courage it requires. I will not do this without benzos and I don't have access to them just yet so...fuck, I really wish I had a gun. Things would've been over already.
Special thanks to @fallingtopieces, @needthebus @gothbird and everyone else who gave me advice and kept me company while I got through this scare and I apologize if I worried anyone, truly wasn't the intention. Sadly, I didn't see her in my dreams...not that it was the main intention. I just miss her so much and I can't believe life's like this.
I do think we should have a sticky advising strongly against attempts or trial runs using SN, threads like mine pop every now and then and I think we can all agree that we should be clear about the risks in the name of information and autonomy.