breachswapper
⊙ 'till i die??
- Sep 24, 2025
- 25
i have like. multiple people that are just itching to talk to me all the time and i was always thinking "wow people love me so much... why doesn't that feel good"
and i realize like. man all they ever do is ask for help and feedback and to talk about what they wanna talk about to do what they wanna do but whenever i try to. actually have a personality. be a full individual instead of a part of them. it's almost like responding to me then is a chore they have to complete to get back to the "good" me
idk i feel like mutism makes it so that my only option for friendships is online ones. i'm sure id be perfectly socially fulfilled if i could go to some public gatherings and be all loud n shit and talk about life with random strangers i'll never meet again from time to time but there's no way to type faster than my thoughts i fear so all i can do is level the playing field and have us both type
but like back to the main topic I feel like i'll never be a. real person. a real person with real dreams. nobody cares if i succeed in life or not they just hope i'm alive. because i can't help them if i'm alive
and they tell me that they love me and just wanna talk to me again but how can are you gonna say that when you refuse to accept that i'm a whole human too. i feel like i'm only seen as my talent or my mental illness by these people and nothing more
hopefully this gets something across i'm saying this a good hour past when i probably should've been sleeping this has all just been mixing in my mind like soup for weeks and i didn't know who i could express it to
and i realize like. man all they ever do is ask for help and feedback and to talk about what they wanna talk about to do what they wanna do but whenever i try to. actually have a personality. be a full individual instead of a part of them. it's almost like responding to me then is a chore they have to complete to get back to the "good" me
idk i feel like mutism makes it so that my only option for friendships is online ones. i'm sure id be perfectly socially fulfilled if i could go to some public gatherings and be all loud n shit and talk about life with random strangers i'll never meet again from time to time but there's no way to type faster than my thoughts i fear so all i can do is level the playing field and have us both type
but like back to the main topic I feel like i'll never be a. real person. a real person with real dreams. nobody cares if i succeed in life or not they just hope i'm alive. because i can't help them if i'm alive
and they tell me that they love me and just wanna talk to me again but how can are you gonna say that when you refuse to accept that i'm a whole human too. i feel like i'm only seen as my talent or my mental illness by these people and nothing more
hopefully this gets something across i'm saying this a good hour past when i probably should've been sleeping this has all just been mixing in my mind like soup for weeks and i didn't know who i could express it to
