Venting Job Search

[hoppybunny]

I don't even know what to say. It's been six months and i still haven't gotten a job. I know it's mostly my fault cause I don't have any decent projects as a comp sci graduate. Just 2 shitty websites. I'm working on making two new onces but I genuinely do not have the passion or energy to make anything. Like I barely do anything but lie in bed all day. i'm tired all the time and nothing feels worth it.

i know that i need to get up and do something to make a difference but i just can't bring myself to do it.

But the reason why i've been getting more and more depressed is because i thought that even if I can't get a comp sci job, i would be able to get a different job while i worked on my project. but all i've been able to do is get a crossing guard job that i had to quit because it was so cold everytime and mentally draining.

i'm trying to find a new job right now but i didn't anticipate that i would be rejected from simple jobs too. I literally am getting rejected from everything. And anytime i talk about it people (my parents mostly) treat me like i'm mentally incompetent and don't know how to search for a job.

Have you tried data entry. that's not a real fucking job. What about qa tester, or help desk, or it support. Yes i've tried everything no one wants to fucking hire me.

Literally i got rejected from a program literally for people that can't get hired cause my resume wasn't good enough. like wtf?!? they said it was too competitive and they took someone who's experience aligned better. LIKE?!?!?! is this not for people with no experience.

and my parents keep saying if you want to start a business or do anything we'll support you or give you money. when they can't go 2 seconds without yelling at me about how much they spent and sacrificed for me. like even if i had the motivation or energy to start a business i would soon rather take a bank loan than accept money from them.

my mum even told me i should try teaching art classes knowing full well i don't draw anymore. which is all their fault. i've gotten yelled at over an over again for wasting time drawing instead of studying and focusing on school because school is the most important thing. and now i've finished school and don't have a job all of a sudden the hobby i had that they called useless, and blamed for every bad grade i had is what they're convincing me to start a business with.

i'm so sick of this. and i'm so sick of being around them. I'm tired of part time jobs that pay pennies. i just want a full time job so i can move out already.

i hate how unenergetic i am. and i hate that i'm too much of a pussy to kill myself.

like it's so annoying. i'm too mentally ill to function like a normal person but obviously not ill enough to die. SO my only choice is to recover and live like a person. but nothing is appealing right now. when i think about working and paying bills so i can afford to work and pay the bills i just get so depressed.


Nothing i do feels appealing anymore. watching movies and tv shows feel like work so i've stopped doing them. playing games is too much work. even deadscrolling is becoming too much of a hassle. like tomorrrow my sister wants me to come over to her place and watch something with her and like i legitemately have no interest in doing that. i told her to do it without me and she got mad at me. It's like genuinely no one in my family understands that i just need something that will convince me hell is not real before i blow my fucking head open.

like no one in my family genuinely understands how much this job search has broken me down. everytime i go to bed i'm genuinely hoping to die in my sleep. My parents keep asking me stupid questions like have i asked my neighbour if his airline is hiring. how tf would my neighbour who is a pilot, know if the it department is hiring? like what?!?!

they're so out of touch. and my mum is sending me stupid youtube videos talking about the economy and how we just might be in a recession and how no one is hiring. LIke no shit i fucking no that i'm literally in the job market right now. like that means this whole time, they thought i was just fucking around and I wasn't trying hard enough to find a job. that's why she's sending me useless fucking videos filled with shit i already know like it's supoosed to help me.

i don't even know what i'm complaining about anymore. i'm just really tired of being unemployed.

 

[Life]

I don't even know what to say. It's been six months and i still haven't gotten a job. I know it's mostly my fault cause I don't have any decent projects as a comp sci graduate. Just 2 shitty websites. I'm working on making two new onces but I genuinely do not have the passion or energy to make anything. Like I barely do anything but lie in bed all day. i'm tired all the time and nothing feels worth it.

I've been unemployed for a year and a half now. it's not a good feeling, and it's not your fault. Minimum wage jobs don't want me, I'm a liability. Do not blame yourself for a shitty job market, not to mention AI taking over comp sci. My energy levels are disgustingly bad especially after I had a surgery.

i know that i need to get up and do something to make a difference but i just can't bring myself to do it.

But the reason why i've been getting more and more depressed is because i thought that even if I can't get a comp sci job, i would be able to get a different job while i worked on my project. but all i've been able to do is get a crossing guard job that i had to quit because it was so cold everytime and mentally draining.

Take a break if you need, in my personal opinion, I know it's probably way harder with your parents being on your back but they need to have some understanding. I mean really they just sound like another responsibility for you, they can't expect you to have control over everything.

i'm trying to find a new job right now but i didn't anticipate that i would be rejected from simple jobs too. I literally am getting rejected from everything. And anytime i talk about it people (my parents mostly) treat me like i'm mentally incompetent and don't know how to search for a job.

Have you tried data entry. that's not a real fucking job. What about qa tester, or help desk, or it support. Yes i've tried everything no one wants to fucking hire me.

Literally i got rejected from a program literally for people that can't get hired cause my resume wasn't good enough. like wtf?!? they said it was too competitive and they took someone who's experience aligned better. LIKE?!?!?! is this not for people with no experience.

and my parents keep saying if you want to start a business or do anything we'll support you or give you money. when they can't go 2 seconds without yelling at me about how much they spent and sacrificed for me. like even if i had the motivation or energy to start a business i would soon rather take a bank loan than accept money from them.

my mum even told me i should try teaching art classes knowing full well i don't draw anymore. which is all their fault. i've gotten yelled at over an over again for wasting time drawing instead of studying and focusing on school because school is the most important thing. and now i've finished school and don't have a job all of a sudden the hobby i had that they called useless, and blamed for every bad grade i had is what they're convincing me to start a business with.

i'm so sick of this. and i'm so sick of being around them. I'm tired of part time jobs that pay pennies. i just want a full time job so i can move out already.

Again the job market is really bad, I'm getting rejected from minimum wage jobs myself. It is the worst feeling, and unfortunately that's just the way it is, I'm tired of being unemployed to, I'm tired of being poor and relying on my parents for everything, it makes me really sad that there is no options. I just wish it could all change, I do believe you'll find something though. Maybe you don't feel proud of yourself but finishing a comp sci degree is still really impressive. I am sure there are jobs willing to hire you, maybe it will take a while, but I have some hope for you even if it isn't the brightest right now.

i hate how unenergetic i am. and i hate that i'm too much of a pussy to kill myself.

Exactly how I feel a lot of the time.

like it's so annoying. i'm too mentally ill to function like a normal person but obviously not ill enough to die. SO my only choice is to recover and live like a person. but nothing is appealing right now. when i think about working and paying bills so i can afford to work and pay the bills i just get so depressed.

That's how I feel to. I suppose there isn't much in store for all of in the end of the day, get a degree in a field you're not interested in, work until you're on the brink of death, nothing to come home to, life seems bleak, especially modern life, I don't know what I want to do but it's not this life, I don't know what to do.

Nothing i do feels appealing anymore. watching movies and tv shows feel like work so i've stopped doing them. playing games is too much work. even deadscrolling is becoming too much of a hassle. like tomorrrow my sister wants me to come over to her place and watch something with her and like i legitemately have no interest in doing that. i told her to do it without me and she got mad at me. It's like genuinely no one in my family understands that i just need something that will convince me hell is not real before i blow my fucking head open.

Life has been dull. it sucks growing up realizing TV is boring, video games, really every hobby, maybe it's just that stage of life, at least I hope so.

like no one in my family genuinely understands how much this job search has broken me down. everytime i go to bed i'm genuinely hoping to die in my sleep. My parents keep asking me stupid questions like have i asked my neighbour if his airline is hiring. how tf would my neighbour who is a pilot, know if the it department is hiring? like what?!?!

they're so out of touch. and my mum is sending me stupid youtube videos talking about the economy and how we just might be in a recession and how no one is hiring. LIke no shit i fucking no that i'm literally in the job market right now. like that means this whole time, they thought i was just fucking around and I wasn't trying hard enough to find a job. that's why she's sending me useless fucking videos filled with shit i already know like it's supoosed to help me.

That's just the Boomer, Gen-X view of how to get as job, they believe just asking around gets you a job, they think "social circle" matters when everything has been done online for over a decade now, not to mention now there's just fucking robots throwing your resume in the trash can now before that is seen. Every standard is so high, everything is so polished.

i don't even know what i'm complaining about anymore. i'm just really tired of being unemployed.

That's is a very valid and normal way to feel. Please don't be to hard on yourself, I believe in you, and I just want you to know I completely understand and I know the feeling is awful.

 

[itsgone2]

The job market is terrible. Private equity hates employees. Also ai and offshoring to cheap labor. It's not the market from even 20 years ago. And it's getting worse

 

[hoppybunny]

I've been unemployed for a year and a half now. it's not a good feeling, and it's not your fault. Minimum wage jobs don't want me, I'm a liability. Do not blame yourself for a shitty job market, not to mention AI taking over comp sci. My energy levels are disgustingly bad especially after I had a surgery.

Take a break if you need, in my personal opinion, I know it's probably way harder with your parents being on your back but they need to have some understanding. I mean really they just sound like another responsibility for you, they can't expect you to have control over everything.

Again the job market is really bad, I'm getting rejected from minimum wage jobs myself. It is the worst feeling, and unfortunately that's just the way it is, I'm tired of being unemployed to, I'm tired of being poor and relying on my parents for everything, it makes me really sad that there is no options. I just wish it could all change, I do believe you'll find something though. Maybe you don't feel proud of yourself but finishing a comp sci degree is still really impressive. I am sure there are jobs willing to hire you, maybe it will take a while, but I have some hope for you even if it isn't the brightest right now.

Exactly how I feel a lot of the time.

That's how I feel to. I suppose there isn't much in store for all of in the end of the day, get a degree in a field you're not interested in, work until you're on the brink of death, nothing to come home to, life seems bleak, especially modern life, I don't know what I want to do but it's not this life, I don't know what to do.

Life has been dull. it sucks growing up realizing TV is boring, video games, really every hobby, maybe it's just that stage of life, at least I hope so.

That's just the Boomer, Gen-X view of how to get as job, they believe just asking around gets you a job, they think "social circle" matters when everything has been done online for over a decade now, not to mention now there's just fucking robots throwing your resume in the trash can now before that is seen. Every standard is so high, everything is so polished.

That's is a very valid and normal way to feel. Please don't be to hard on yourself, I believe in you, and I just want you to know I completely understand and I know the feeling is awful.

Thank you so much much for your kind words and support.


I hope you're feeling better and can get a job too. Being unemployed is so demoralizing. Especially as an adult. It just makes you feel as lesser of a person. Because you want to be free and independent but that's only possilble with money.

I really do appreciate your kind words again. And i hope we can both get better. I really want to enjoy things again.

That's just the Boomer, Gen-X view of how to get as job, they believe just asking around gets you a job, they think "social circle" matters when everything has been done online for over a decade now, not to mention now there's just fucking robots throwing your resume in the trash can now before that is seen. Every standard is so high, everything is so polished.

They really have no idea, what it entails. ANd it sucks cause my dad is also job hunting too. But he has convinced himself that it is because he has a foreign degree and is old that's why he can't get a job so, I just need to keep applying cause the situation is completely different for me. Like no the market is hard for everyone omg.

Even in companies where i had a referral my resume was thrown out so quickly.

I know i'm not the best coder out there and if i'm being honest I wouldn't even hire myself if i ran a company. But i've interviewed a bunch of ppl in the industry and none of them were that good when they got their first job.

I literally had someone who was talking about how she had a degree in latin and started as a receptionist. then she got into tech because one of the IT guys were sick that day and they needed someone to temporarily replace him. Now she makes over six figures and is head of a department with over like 3000 people. And like every other gen x/boomer i've interviewed in tech all had the same backstory.

they were chilling at work or at school and someone was like hey wanna try coding something with me. or doing a job for me. And when i looked at the requirments for an entry level job, in all the companies that I interviewed these ppl. all of them were requring 2-5 years of experience for a junior role!!!


I'm trying my best to keep applying because that's all I can do, but thank you again for your kind words. I hope you can get better soon and also find a job.

The job market is terrible. Private equity hates employees. Also ai and offshoring to cheap labor. It's not the market from even 20 years ago. And it's getting worse

Foreal. The worst part is a lot of these companies laying off people for AI are not even seeing a significant improvement because AI is simply not good enough to replace human cognitive function. Offshoring i believe is the biggest problem in tech. All the starter and menial jobs ppl used to have while they built their career has been shipped to India and the Phillipines for like 2 dollars an hour.

and i've even gotten shitty advice like, why not try freelancing or building websites for free, like as if i'm not competing with ppl offering the same service as me for 1 dollar an hour on fiverr and upwork. And even free work is competitive.

In one of the videos my mum sent. one of the ppl being interviewed made a joke about how soon people will be paying companies to train them so they can get experience. How the hell will people be able to afford that if they don't have a joke?!?!? And the lady was laughing like it was a fucking funny that the economy is so bad that indentured servitude could make a combeback