I've written a poem about my suicidal ideation

[beyond.space]

So, I don't consider myself much of an artist or author, but sometimes, when I'm at my worst, I tend to feel like I need to express my most profound sentiments through drawings or small poems. Well, this one isn't that small. Since I've been suicidal for a good while, with one failed attempt, I started to dig deeper and deeper into my subconscious, and the result of that and one sleepless night is this following poem, which I sincerely hope doesn't sound too cringe or pretentious. For me, it's the first lyrical thing I've created in a while that I'm at least a little proud of, since I feel I was able to better express some of my ideas, especially about suicide. I decided to post it here since I can't really show this to anyone else but you, because I know some of you might relate:

stardust

as i admire my two lonely stars
i know i'll soon leave this abattoir;
i shall renounce my fleshy body
and rejoin their eternal rhapsody.

i've made this promise to myself,
that i may soon erase this debt.
to escape the purgatory of my soul
i become sand on the sky's shore;

since god's rotting in ivory towers,
i rebel, i seize his divine powers;
start defying his incipient intent,
breaking life's cycle, turning inert.

i will shape into stardust pieces;
return to everlasting emptiness;
flatten into the schemes of nature
and meet my own cruel creator.

i know it may take you quite a while
before you can accept my goodbye,
but see, now i'm unbound, i can fly,
i've grown wings in space and time.

i'm thrown in voids and neatly spread
through sublime cosmos spiderwebs;
i return to my origins and gladly find
chaotic harmony in absence of mind.

so when you're lost in endless thought,
believe me that some peace i've found,
one hanging between the faded light
of my precious lonely stars at night.

 

[yesi]

Your poem skills are great.

 

[Defatigatis]

I feel like i could have written this myself, can relate so much.
Indeed, magnificent text and ability to express yourself.

 

[beyond.space]

Your poem skills are great.

I feel like i could have written this myself, can relate so much.
Indeed, magnificent text and ability to express yourself.

Thank you so much. What validates me the most when I create is if I could express something that others can understand, relate to, or even be inspired by in any way. That keeps me at least a little bit creative until my ultimate departure.

I appreciate it.

 

[beyond.space]

bump, because I've written more stuff and I'm unsure if ppl here would be interested to read them or not