Venting I’ve realized i dont have the potential to ever have a relationship,platonic or romantic, with anyone.

[Lou_Charthethird]

I see so many people talk about how they lost one of their many friends or their romantic partner broke up with them or that one of their estranged family members is a bad person, and it breaks my heart knowing i would never even get that far. I never had the opportunity to make friends with anyone because i was sheltered from the world in a Ultra religious community. Not only do i have no friends or people i can trust, but living like this for as long as i did has ruined my ability to socialize with normal people. I barely can come to terms with myself and who i am because ivelost my sense of identity, much less do i have the ability ti show off an identity for someone to find attractive as a friend. I am doomed to be alone for the rest of my life. I wish i was in a position where i could even have one fucking person. I cant even feel as doomed as this should make me bec of this damn derealization. Im sorry if this is rambly, point is, i wish i was born normal maybe none of this wouldve happened .

 

[Passenger4224]

This post related to me ... I'm sorry :(

 

[violetforever]

i relate and i want to say the combination of sheltering with strict religion is literally a form of abuse to me. when it leads to undeveloped social skills and loss of identity which are necessary to function, that feels abusive. my family ruined me with that along with other things for so long. are u away from that community now?

 

[Lou_Charthethird]

i relate and i want to say the combination of sheltering with strict religion is literally a form of abuse to me. when it leads to undeveloped social skills and loss of identity which are necessary to function, that feels abusive. my family ruined me with that along with other things for so long. are u away from that community now?

Im not sure there's even a point to it anymore. My mom seems like she vehemently wants me to be locked away here for the rest of my life. Even if i were to leave, my ability to survive in the real outside world has been permanently damaged. I am physically incapable of functioning as a normal human being anymore and there is no sign of recovery, whether i leave or stay. If there was still a chance for me to stay alive, trust me, id take it.

 

[electrojellysoup]

Im not sure there's even a point to it anymore. My mom seems like she vehemently wants me to be locked away here for the rest of my life. Even if i were to leave, my ability to survive in the real outside world has been permanently damaged. I am physically incapable of functioning as a normal human being anymore and there is no sign of recovery, whether i leave or stay. If there was still a chance for me to stay alive, trust me, id take it.

I am so sorry. I want to believe there is hope for you to escape and live a full and normal life. You deserve it

 

[searchingforpeace]

You're not missing anything trust me! It's not worth it! It'll cause you more pain than you can imagine and very little pleasure

 

[Chronical_Suicidal]

I am doomed to be alone for the rest of my life.

Same here. Even knowing that social life has a lot of difficulties, not having the skills to build one is devastating, as you feel left behind and lacking something fundamental to human development.

 

[Lou_Charthethird]

You're not missing anything trust me! It's not worth it! It'll cause you more pain than you can imagine and very little pleasure

Not to sound mean but i honestly really dont believe thats true. If i was just born in a normal part of the world around other normal people, id atleast have a chance to learn how to socialize well and have actually someone or even some people i can trust. All i want is that chance.I feel fundamentally broken due to my inability to interact with normal people. Yes i know its more dangerous to have friends and a partner due to rejection and betrayal and drama and whatnot, which is what im afraid of, but i believe wholly that there is more good than bad when it comes to relationships and friendships . Its more about choosing who your trust resides with. Since ive been around bad untrustworthy people my whole life, i dont know how to trust anyone anymore. I dont want to take that risk of being in a friendship, but i wish i didnt have that fear, which was fostered by my childhood living in this hellhole.

This post related to me ... I'm sorry :(

I glad it did. I think all people who have nothing left to hope for can only find solace in relatability, or atleast thats what i always found comforting.