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cannotthink

New Member
Feb 6, 2020
4
I give birth in a few months. For the first 12-24 hours you are at increased risk of postpartum hemorrhage, and I am at further risk due to anatomical defect and a potential for c section. However, hospitals also stop closely monitoring you after about an hour and send you off to "recovery", where you are barely watched and most checks are done to the baby.

The plan is simple. Once I am in recovery, part of the plan is for them to start to cluster maternal care and checks, which means every 1+ hours instead of every 15 minutes like it is before recovery. I can also further push this out by explaining that I have bipolar disorder and need help getting extra "sleep" in order to avoid a manic episode. My therapist and psychiatrist will be more than willing to write support documents to help me make this case as they are already very concerned with my mental state postpartum.

Aspirin is a huge no-no postpartum, as it has the effect of damaging platelets, which cannot be reversed, and they're not checking platelets again after the initial CBC work up when you come in. Therefore, it's a perfect vector for slipping through the cracks unnoticed.

After taking a truly heroic dose of aspirin, or even a normal one at the maximum range, I takes about an hour for the full platelet damaging effects to commence. That, coupled with the inherent risks of me and my particular health concerns causing a 2-3x higher risk of hemorrhage, should hopefully push me over the edge into bleeding out, as well as no maternal monitoring and less frequent checks, and a husband who will be very busy with taking pictures of the baby and talking to his family while I "rest".

My reason for doing this in the hospital is simple - it's the safest place for my baby to be when I die, and they likely will chalk a postpartum hemorrhage up to birth complications and not dig deeper, so it will look like a totally normal death and allow my husband to collect my life insurance, which will help set him and my child up for success in the future. And by damaging the platelets themselves, and by likely receiving opioids to help compound the effects, my blood will be unable to clot and it doesn't matter what they do to try to save me.

My baby will be safe, financially taken care of, and this whole thing will be a tragic accident.

Helpfully, the time of year I am giving birth is also a very low staffed part of the year in hospitals, so there will be even less nurses to be doing checks and I will be even more left alone. They likely will not have the staff on hand to manage this.

As a note, a woman experiencing a hemorrhage postpartum can fully bleed out within 10 minutes! So my timeline is in the best case 40 minutes!
 
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whywere

Angelic
Jun 26, 2020
4,091
PLEASE reconsider what you are thinking.

You are bringing a sentient life form into this world who NEEDS you and I bet after seeing and holding the child so will you.

Reading this broke my heart into a million pieces, as I grew up in a household where my "parents" never wanted me, so basically, I grew up alone and it hurt like heaven.

Giving a child an awesome start and watching them achieve is such a wonderous thing. and when he/she gets old enough having you to help guide them into the teenage and young adult stages is not only a blessing for you, BUT it is also fir them and REAALY helps them to mature.

Even at the age of 70, I still have a hole in my heart and mind about never having a decent growing up period and I will always miss it.

So, PLEASE rethink this and give your child all the love and headstart in this world, as he/she IS part of your legacy.

Walter
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,461
You decided to bring a new life into this world and you intend to escape your responsibility now? Sorry, but this is disgusting.
 
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cannotthink

New Member
Feb 6, 2020
4
It's an accidental pregnancy, but I could not go through with an abortion. As much as he was unintentional, he is very loved and I want the best for him, whatever that means my real role is. He will be well taken care of by my husband and his family, they will know what to do. I don't know the first thing about caring for a child, and also have health reasons why I won't be around a long time anyway. If I leave before he knows me, he doesn't have to lose me later. I'd rather he have a dead mom before he knows what a mom is, not after.
I can bring him into this world safely and give him to the kindest people I know. That's what my job is. More or less a surrogate for my husband and his mother to raise this baby together.
 
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CarbonBased

Member
Jun 18, 2026
42
It's an accidental pregnancy, but I could not go through with an abortion. As much as he was unintentional, he is very loved and I want the best for him, whatever that means my real role is. He will be well taken care of by my husband and his family, they will know what to do. I don't know the first thing about caring for a child, and also have health reasons why I won't be around a long time anyway. If I leave before he knows me, he doesn't have to lose me later. I'd rather he have a dead mom before he knows what a mom is, not after.
I can bring him into this world safely and give him to the kindest people I know. That's what my job is. More or less a surrogate for my husband and his mother to raise this baby together.
You know, I was kinda thinking the same thing as some other commenters, but I now see your perspective. For philosophical reasons I think that the life might not be worth living for anyone regardless of the circumstances, but assuming this isn't the case what you're doing is quite reasonable
 
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cannotthink

New Member
Feb 6, 2020
4
Thank you. The moral of my story is "don't get cancer young." I've got about a 60% chance of making it 5 years, 40% for 10.

I can't imagine having him, loving him, and leaving him behind when he can remember me. My leaving fast is my kindness to him. I can be a story.
 
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GlassMoon

GlassMoon

~
Nov 18, 2024
394
I'm sorry you're in this situation. I'm a parent, too. And I can relate to the feeling of believing that other people might be better suited to parent my children rather than me.

That being said... since you're bipolar, and probably off meds during pregnancy... I wanted to ask whether what you're feeling right now is very deep low? I know in these lows it feels there will never be any light ever again... maybe you can check in with your psychiatrist to see whether there are any other options for you?

Yes, there is a chance you will die after he learned to cherish you as his mom. But we don't know when that will be for certain. And even if you can be there for him only for a short time, while he needs you the most after birth, I'm sure it will be worthwile.
 
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cannotthink

New Member
Feb 6, 2020
4
I know I'm not the best choice as a mother. My MIL is still actively raising kids, and was only stopped from having more because she went through menopause. She is more than equipped and capable of raising him, or assisting my husband in raising him. And he will have plenty of aunts and uncles to love on him as well.

I've been made aware of the fact I don't know the first thing about children, and that my takes and ideas on what to do aren't great, and that I don't know how to hold/feed/care for an infant. So it makes the most sense to give him to the people who are skilled and can be there for him.

I have a medication that is pregnancy safe, but I don't think it's enough to touch what I'm feeling now.
 

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