• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
C

cannotthink

New Member
Feb 6, 2020
2
I give birth in a few months. For the first 12-24 hours you are at increased risk of postpartum hemorrhage, and I am at further risk due to anatomical defect and a potential for c section. However, hospitals also stop closely monitoring you after about an hour and send you off to "recovery", where you are barely watched and most checks are done to the baby.

The plan is simple. Once I am in recovery, part of the plan is for them to start to cluster maternal care and checks, which means every 1+ hours instead of every 15 minutes like it is before recovery. I can also further push this out by explaining that I have bipolar disorder and need help getting extra "sleep" in order to avoid a manic episode. My therapist and psychiatrist will be more than willing to write support documents to help me make this case as they are already very concerned with my mental state postpartum.

Aspirin is a huge no-no postpartum, as it has the effect of damaging platelets, which cannot be reversed, and they're not checking platelets again after the initial CBC work up when you come in. Therefore, it's a perfect vector for slipping through the cracks unnoticed.

After taking a truly heroic dose of aspirin, or even a normal one at the maximum range, I takes about an hour for the full platelet damaging effects to commence. That, coupled with the inherent risks of me and my particular health concerns causing a 2-3x higher risk of hemorrhage, should hopefully push me over the edge into bleeding out, as well as no maternal monitoring and less frequent checks, and a husband who will be very busy with taking pictures of the baby and talking to his family while I "rest".

My reason for doing this in the hospital is simple - it's the safest place for my baby to be when I die, and they likely will chalk a postpartum hemorrhage up to birth complications and not dig deeper, so it will look like a totally normal death and allow my husband to collect my life insurance, which will help set him and my child up for success in the future. And by damaging the platelets themselves, and by likely receiving opioids to help compound the effects, my blood will be unable to clot and it doesn't matter what they do to try to save me.

My baby will be safe, financially taken care of, and this whole thing will be a tragic accident.

Helpfully, the time of year I am giving birth is also a very low staffed part of the year in hospitals, so there will be even less nurses to be doing checks and I will be even more left alone. They likely will not have the staff on hand to manage this.

As a note, a woman experiencing a hemorrhage postpartum can fully bleed out within 10 minutes! So my timeline is in the best case 40 minutes!
 
Last edited:
  • Aww..
Reactions: Praestat_Mori, whywere and kurgan
W

whywere

Angelic
Jun 26, 2020
4,091
PLEASE reconsider what you are thinking.

You are bringing a sentient life form into this world who NEEDS you and I bet after seeing and holding the child so will you.

Reading this broke my heart into a million pieces, as I grew up in a household where my "parents" never wanted me, so basically, I grew up alone and it hurt like heaven.

Giving a child an awesome start and watching them achieve is such a wonderous thing. and when he/she gets old enough having you to help guide them into the teenage and young adult stages is not only a blessing for you, BUT it is also fir them and REAALY helps them to mature.

Even at the age of 70, I still have a hole in my heart and mind about never having a decent growing up period and I will always miss it.

So, PLEASE rethink this and give your child all the love and headstart in this world, as he/she IS part of your legacy.

Walter
 
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,461
You decided to bring a new life into this world and you intend to escape your responsibility now? Sorry, but this is disgusting.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: whywere and Bishop
C

cannotthink

New Member
Feb 6, 2020
2
It's an accidental pregnancy, but I could not go through with an abortion. He will be well taken care of by my husband and his family, they will know what to do. I don't know the first thing about caring for a child, and also have health reasons why I won't be around a long time anyway. If I leave before he knows me, he doesn't have to lose me later.
 

Similar threads

Lullaby
Replies
9
Views
295
Suicide Discussion
Lullaby
Lullaby
bleedxi
Replies
0
Views
377
Suicide Discussion
bleedxi
bleedxi
ihateittoo
Replies
7
Views
305
Suicide Discussion
cookji
C
louboutinsuicide
Replies
4
Views
147
Suicide Discussion
louboutinsuicide
louboutinsuicide