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ornitier199

Arcanist
Mar 26, 2022
413
I won't lie I am nervous; a bunch of memories flash through my mind, but I understand now that its just all dreams. (i'm too embarrassed to say this out loud, but yes, i would miss ryan if i die (i lo), i would be sad, i would miss FK, of course, and a lot more. no it does not include family, i don't have one, or anyone.) i was in despair 2020-2021 until i met you. so i know there're two, but you you made me happy—thank you.
I've written my suicide note about 2 week ago,and updated it a bit periodically, but today i finished it.

If I dont hit the right spot, whatever spot that does it instantly, oh well.
I will die slowly alone, physically painfully, but even then, it would not near bad as the pain and potential pain of living. (and so on).
I have what I need to do this, i followed the resources, now i'm headed to a secluded area so that i wont be found, and given the noise.

when i first came here to SS, i didn't really think i would even talk to anyone, instead ask some questions on working methods i hadn't tried.
thought posting this last would help ease my nerves a bit. but i dunno. thanks
A revolver, the same type alexander said
 
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G

GreenerPastures

Member
Jun 19, 2022
26
I am with ya buddy… I have exactly 12 hours until I ctb, and as time draws closer the memories flying through my mind is triggering very strong emotions.. because I know once I hit the road, there IS no coming back. I have maxed all credit cards, blown off my job, blown off my bills.. if I pussy out now, I am truly and utterly FUCKED!

Safe travels brother. Sorry your time on earth has been so troubled. Here's to better times beyond.. cheers
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
45,024
Living really is so painful and I know that it can be so unbearable being trapped in a horrible life. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.
 
F

ForeverBlue

Member
Jun 7, 2022
61
When I have what in need to ctb I'm the same there will be no changing of mind. I have to get out of this shithole world we live in.
 

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