Venting It's way too hard.

[ikadasui]

It's just too fucking hard. Trying t find work that isn't so miserable you want jump in front of a train, ever raising price of everything, being stuck in a body I dislike, a mind that's just inferior to my peers and then of course being surrounded by superior people to further push me lower into the dirt. Any effort I've made to better myself has been futile, shit I even got sober and have been for nearing 2 months now and I have nothing to show for that. If something good was going to happen it would of by now, I truly feel it's more dependent on circumstances outside of my control. Sure, hardwork and the like will be of help, but eventually after enough setbacks you have to just look at it as if you're just not meant to be apart of whatever is going on here. I'm far too worn down to even try anymore, I'm financially destitue now and can't afford next months bills on anything, my work hours have been so bad sometimes I'll only get an hour a day. I believe this is nearing the end of the road for me. I even try to look at it as realistically as I can from a best case scenario and it would still be a pitiful existence trapped in flesh I hate with a broken mind, and I'd still be fighting for crumbs so it's not like there's anything left to lose. Truly horrific I was born to experience this low quality life and the people responsible I've never even set my eyes on once... I just want to see if they are as fucked up as me and even that small desire is something I'll never be granted

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's true that some people are simply not meant for this life, at least that's the way that I see it and I certainly understand that it's so awful and tiring feeling trapped in this existence where chance so cruelly determines everything. The unfortunate reality is that there could never be anything fair about existing in this world.