Its very bad right now

[anguila_anguila]

Yes. You are really calm and quiet. I like reading your texts, feels a liitle bit like a cold wind when I feel very warm. And you are right, things are not black and white. You have experience, right? You sound like you already live longer than me.
Thank you for calming me down, I feel more calm now. Still have worries but it is easier to make myself not think about them right now.

Thank you... I can certainly be calm and quiet at times, especially online where it is much harder to show emotions. :D
I am probably a lot older than you, and I have built a little bit of experience, from both sides of the fence, so to speak. I've been in a place where I spent most of my time when I was not at work sitting on the floor in my condo, contemplating the best way to end it all, and I felt there was no point to fighting any longer.

I've also dealt with someone who was incredibly depressed, was hospitalised several times and tried to CTB a few times. That was hard, some of the hardest times in my life tbh. When you think someone you care about it is trying to end it, you think they are doing it right now, and you are powerless to stop them, it is just a sickening, gut-wrenching feeling. Luckily, now, she is mostly better and does have times in her life she does enjoy.